Friday, February 28, 2014

a moment

Why is it so easy to fall into frustration over the normal?  Had one of those moments late in the afternoon yesterday.

Felt like I was just so done cleaning the same thing I clean three times each day....seeing to-do items on my list go issues arise at the always worst times....our old washer/dryer are baaaarely doing their job....blah blah....

We've been hoping to put our house up for sale  - to move closer to the city - for a while now.  It's just seemed like such a difficult transition.  How do we get this house prepped when we already feel like we're unable to get normal life done? How do you paint all the trim when you live with little messy mini human beings?  Not to mention the prep for 'showings' and keeping a constant clean house.

After a frustrating evening...a baby who preferred to mash his meatballs into the table instead of his mouth, I decided to go for a run.  I ran and I ran....and I ran.  It was as if each mile, more and more of the stress about what I can and cannot do began to disappear.

I walked off the track, feeling good & accomplished.  So much yet to be completed at home but what I had just completed was for me and it was the right thing.  I pulled in my driveway and saw my husband working late....working hard....and then I got out of the car and heard a noise from above.

Instantly, I teared up as I watched a helicopter fly from our nearby hospital heading towards the city (presumably the main Cleveland Clinic campus) and I remembered our horrible moment.  The one where our baby was in that helicopter.  I closed my eyes and realized how blessed I was to have marinara to scrub off the floor...his clothing to wash...his sippy cups to fill over and over again.  Told God 'I'm sorry' for being so frustrated about the normal....and asked Him to help me get it done with His grace.

Woke up to a 4yr old who wanted to cuddle at 6am...and instead of wishing for that extra 45 minutes of uninterrupted sleep...I cuddled him close and chose today to be a wonderful accomplished one and one with gratitude instead of frustration.

Just a little note - being real - being honest.  Hope your Friday is off to a beautiful start.



Wednesday, February 19, 2014

oh grace....

I had think for 10 minutes about the password to my own blog.  That's how long its been.

It's OK though.

Life has been All full in the right places.

This year started out strong and I'm so grateful.  This year's hope for our family was a continued path toward contentment but also to strive to reach personal goals while still trying to live in the moment.

Last year, I started to feel guilty having my phone with me so much...taking photos so often of my think I post a lot?  You should see the photos I don't post!  Then I started reading articles and blogs of Moms who were putting their phones away and never having them out and I really got inspired by that....but then we nearly lost our youngest last Spring...and I remember on the flight home from Miami...turning on my phone and flipping through photo after photo of Simon.  Looking at his face when I couldn't physically be close to him was beyond comforting to me.  The videos of his laugh brought me closer still.  It was then I was really glad for having my phone with me to capture as much of him as I could....just incase it would be all I had.

So, with all that said, I'm aiming for balance this year - I know I will not do it perfectly.  So I give myself grace.  That feels nice to say.


No one has taught me more about grace than my husband.  To many he seems like a tough, quieter fellow...but inside is someone who has been through SO much and yet still is so gentle & kind on the inside.  I think about the times we've had blow ups and full on fought...grace was so far from my lips....but he's blown me away in how he covers my mistakes up with his love.

I am way less uptight because of that and as my children are growing, I'm seeing how this balance of uptight, short on grace Mom + Gracious & hardworking proving something beautiful and powerful in these little men we're raising.

So, with this year already two months in, practically...just a little wave hello & encouragement to have grace on each other...take MORE photos of the people you love....send more notes (handwritten) ....and be extra kind and gracious to yourself.