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Pregnant with Jude 2005

Joel and I have endured many busy seasons.
He was a full time student when we got married and worked a 3am-9am job at UPS.
Tough.

Then we worked for a church more hours than any human, let alone, christian ought to.
Really tough.

Now, Joel is doing the job he always imagined in addition to being a Dad to 2 sons.
Good tough.

This weekend was just what we needed.  A date night out on Friday night.  Our kids slept til 9am Saturday morning (that NEVER happens).  Great afternoon with family & Joel & I turned the TV off Saturday night just to be together, laughing, dreaming.

As the alarm clock went off over and over this morning, we both faced the reality that the weekend was over.  I could sure go for another one right now. 

Hope you're all about to enjoy a brilliant Monday!  We've got thrift store shopping on our agenda!

mister leland

 

He can walk 

He can run

He can eat a graham cracker with swagger

He can climb up on sofas & rocking chairs

He can safely ascend and descend the stairs

He is BIG into high-fiving

He smiles kind of a lot

He adores his brother.so.much.

His hands are curious

His hugs are warm

He blows kisses 

He says 'ball' 'hi' 'cracker' 'juice' 'daddy' 'mama' 'Jude' 'light' & many other new words.

He is 15 months next week. 

We're still hopelessly in love with this child. 

Happy Friday from Leland!

the golden rule

When it comes to the ideal thing I want my boys to know about relationships - good or bad - this simply says it all.  

 

Designed by a Father/Son (son age: 6) -another reason why this appeals to me.  My husband has an almost 6-yr old.  I wonder what truth they may find to express together.  

Like this?  Get it here.

chinato

 
Joel and I have really enjoyed going out a bit more lately.

Leland is a little older.
Jude is such a helper.
Breastfeeding is over.
Freedom is just kind of nice. 

One of the stops we've been hoping to make was to Zack Bruell's Italian Chinato located on E. 4th in downtown Cleveland.  After trying his other restaurants over the last few years, we knew we were in for a treat.  Our favorite by far was L'Albatros - an experience that Joel and I will remember forever.

It was fascinating that Zack chose Cleveland of all places to bring his beautiful restaurants.  It's been on our list for a while.

Well, this week was rough.  We both worked too much.  We saw eachother very little.  We slept too few hours.  We didn't workout enough.

Joel surprised me with flowers this week and arranged a sitter so we could finally try it out.

We got dressed up...I did a funky braid in my hair...We braved the 0-degree windchill and walked into Chinato.  It was packed at 8:00PM on Saturday night.  Lots of parties and couples doing just what we were doing.

I walked up to the hostess excited for our experience to begin.

She seemed confused & but eventually found our reservation under "Miller Party of 2"

Joel had been parking the car and he joined me moments later.  We warmed our hands and waited as she told us it would be 'just a moment as they cleaned our table..."

Ironically, another couple had walked in just after Joel.  They were also waiting.
The hostess, who must have been new, asked them to remind her of their last name & number of people in their party.  I overheard them say, "Miller Part of 2".  She took their menus and they followed her to a beautiful table overlooking E. 4th street.  Joel and I debated whether or not to step in and see if THAT was OUR table.  We went over to the hostess when she returned.  She said, 'Have you been helped yet?"

I simply said, "Yes, you said it'd be just a moment - we're Miller Party of 2."  Her face turned red.  She didn't need to say it.  I just chuckled and said, "You sat them at our table, didn't you?"  She nodded. Quickly, she said, "But I have a deuce that just opened up downstairs!"

We were thrilled to finally sit down and eat - however, going downstairs was similar to going to a basement at a friends house....complete with plastic tables/chairs and parties of 16 in every direction loudly laughing while the Miller party of 2 was seated in the midst of them all.  There were flat screens on every wall and Joel and I could barely hear ourselves talk over our menu.  Were we at Chinato or Boneyard?

It was disappointing.  The food was delicious as we knew it would be.
The atmosphere, I'm sad to say just didn't work.  I couldn't even hear my husband tell me how his meal tasted....or how it compared to the other Bruell works of art.
It was like putting ketchup on filet mignon.  Just ruins it.

Will we give it another shot?  Of course.

A restaurant experience, as far as I'm concerned, is just as much about way you are cared for as it is the food you are tasting.
1 for 2, Chinato.  1 for 2.

big picture

Joel and I had a great talk last night.  One we needed to have for a while.

a BUDGET talk.

We have had those a zillion times before - probably 5-10 too few back in the early days.  We laughed over how crazy we were early in our marriage.  We would spend and spend and spend as if there were no consequences.  The credit card seemed like our reliable old pal.

Then the statement came.
The fear.
The regret.

I got all Suze Orman-esque and started educating myself.  THEN - I found out I was pregnant with Jude. Joel and I were attending a great church in the inner city of Grand Rapids.  The Sunday after I found out we were pregnant, I remember sitting there discouraged about our future and what type of future this child might have.

One of the musicians came up after the worship time to share a story.  He told a story of the $100K+ debt he accrued by the time he was 21.  He was charging recording equiptment, instruments, computers.  He met his to-be wife and the credit card was too maxed to buy her a ring.  After a humbling time of cutting those cards apart, educating himself on his mistakes, and putting a plan in place to rid himself of the debt, he told us that 7 yrs later, they are debt-free and their mortgage is PAID OFF!

I was stunned.

Was he lying?
He mentioned a course he was going to teach and I knew we had to be a part of it.

We went faithfully.  We put plans in place.  (By the way we were age 22 & 23 at this point)
By the time my 12 weeks came off from work with my new son, we had saved enough money so I wouldn't have to go back to work early.  It was a miracle. 

We sold our house - paid off the card - paid for our first car in cash - and paid all Joel's student loans.  We were free.

It's an amazing feeling but I wonder where we'd be had we not had that training.  that aha moment.

Last night's talk was beautiful as we dreamed. Together.
We are considering putting our house up and moving nearer to downtown.

The thing that must remain true, however, is that when it comes to money.  It's JUST money.  Patience is what we must covet more than the money itself.  Desire without the patience is just stress.

always on the same team. always.

 

weary

Why is it so hard to let the little things go?

The way that girl looked you.

The irritation you felt from the cashier.

The way a driver cuts you off just to stop and make you wait.

This last week was nothing short of just plain ole awful.  A little boy hit my kid on the bus.  I knew I had to notify the school. The problem was I felt like it was pulling teeth to be heard & believed.

That is one feeling I truly loathe.

When all of my heart is crying out in earnest truth and I am not believed.  It's a terrible feeling.

Joel and I would lay in bed and go to sleep in moments because we were SO.SO.TIRED from all the school shenanigans.

The things is I wasn't trying to pass a new law.
I wasn't trying to allow gum-chewing again in schools.
I wasn't even trying to force my way.
I was just trying to keep my child safe.

I felt like I was fighting for the right to breathe.
As if Oxygen were a privilege.

Friday, Jude went back to school after 2 days off while I tried to sort through the legal mumbo jumbo.  He came home with a note from the boy who hit him.  The boy, who when confronted about this, broke down in tears and said, "Im so sorry I hit Jude!'  The note was 'kindergarten-like' with bright colors and pictures of sweet kids playing and a sunshine.  At the top was written simply in 5-yr old handwriting;

I'm Sorry Jude

Jude was so proud of it.  It was the first thing he wanted to show me.  I was so proud of my forgiving child.  I was also proud of this young boy who readily admitted what went wrong.

I wasn't so proud of the school system but THAT we are working through.  Documenting a new plan, getting Jude to be comfortable enough to 'tell' AS SOON as anything happens, rather than waiting out of fear of getting a friend in trouble.

It's hard to get a through a week like this without losing faith in humanity. 
I guess that is why God gave us children.  To remind us that a simple apology coupled with remorse and humility is nearly impossible to ignore.  I wonder who I need to apologize to today.  I wonder who I need to forgive.

 

see...there is this woman

She is the definition of humility.

She is creative & kind. 

Her life has been one of such sacrifice but such joy.

It was only by 24 hours that she chose NOT 

to take a vow of celibacy in a convent. 

Because she met her soul mate. 

She was romanced by this fellow.

He left their country in search of a future. 

4 years later, faithful as can be.

He came back for her. 

He married her. 

He got a house for her. 

They began their life together. 

5 children were raised in their home.

They did not have much. 

They worked very hard in a country not easy to navigate.

Out of their faithfulness came 5 brilliant persons. 

All of whom serve & love & create as adults today.

Those 5 created 7 grandchildren.

Out of those 7 grandchildren have come 10 great grandchildren. 

All because she didn't take that vow. 

Today I wish a Happy Birthday to my beautiful Grandmother. 

I like to call her 'Abuela' 

I am SO blessed to have her here with us - healthy & happy. 

She has prayed us all through the tough times

Celebrated the happy times

I love her more than a blog can possibly explain. 

I love you, Abuela.  Happy Birthday!

~Jessica