HOT

So, as many of you can tell.  I love my husband.  Not just because he's my bff.  But...he's such a talent...a confidant...an artist.  He has taught me so much about faith and grace.

I have to share this logo he created for my friend, Kimberly.  She is the owner of Kajal by Kimberly.  Kajal (Hindi for "Eye Liner") 

She and I have been working together doing makeup for 18 months now...but to see it written..on a card...with a hot logo...and our  names on it.  It just does something to you.

Need design?

a trip to pittsburgh...just the 2 of us

It's insane what happens to you after having a baby.  Not only does your body change dramatically - but your marriage is forced into the ultimate adjustment.  Leland's birth was altogether wonderful...yet the addition of a new life is also so so so exhausting.  Combine THAT with a crazy busy design year for Joel and it makes for 2 people living in a house that barely see one another. 

NOT GOOD.

We remedied that this weekend...it was just us.  Boyfriend & Girlfriend. Hand-holding. Movie-watching. Window-shopping.  Actual Shopping.  Dreaming.  Laughing.  Eating. 

It was JUST what we needed.  And yet...while we enjoyed the freedom we had without kids to care for, it made us so excited to see those little guys again.

Thanks to my sweet friends and family for the wonderful birthday wishes...here's to hoping 29 is as fantastic as 28!

10 things

10 things I am looking forward to this weekend: 

10-Andy Warhol Museum 

9-The adorable B&B we found at a steal of a price

8-The Inclines

7-Date night here

6-Taking naps with my man

5-Celebrating my 29th birthday

4-Stopping here for a few hours.

3-Seeing this

2-holding hands (yea, i really said that)

1-Reconnecting with the greatest friend/boyfriend/husband on earth

mad men

Joel and I are hooked on this show.

The writing. 
The subtle humor.
The acting.
The way it ties a fictional story around real historical events.

It's a sad and beautiful portrayal of life just a few decades back...yet not that different from where we are now.

Between Top Chef D.C. and Project Runway Season 8....I am starting to become an avid TV watcher....

Anyone else addicted?

just sit next to me

Do you remember when you had friends or cousins over?  The excitement...the anticipation...

One thing I find so funny is how it mattered all the time who sat next to me.  It was like THE most important decision when sitting down to a meal with friends.  It was also massively important if there was a cute boy sitting near me at school. 

Fast forward a decade or two.  I am now watching my son put all his care and concern about who is sitting to his right and left. 

Ironically, I am learning something about these two boys of mine.  They really enjoy just having someone near them.  Jude could be watching a movie....totally enthralled...but he will enjoy it a little more if I'm sitting next to him.  He could be zoning out in a game of Super Mario Galaxy but if I'm next to him, he has a little more fun. 

Watching Leland go from baby blob to sitter/crawler, I am seeing the same thing.  He doesn't need to be oogled and held at every waking moment.  He doesn't need baby blocks built for him each time he sits to play.  He just wants someone next to him.

Perhaps one of the times this became especially apparent was while I had my hands in dough...sticky sticky dough-while making cinnamon rolls.  I put Leland down with some of his favorite toys.  He was happy as could be....I got to my cinnamon-rolls and he started to fuss.  I heard his fusses turn to cries.  I proceeded to wash my hands so I could get to him...and realized he calmed down and started to play happily again.

I walked into the living room quietly (so he wouldn't see me there) and noticed nothing had changed...'cept his big brother sat next to him.  *proud mommy*

nearing the 2-9

Joel has been asking me for a while what I wanted to do for my 29th birthday.  I told him I was unsure.  I thought up some awesome stuff. 

~Spa Day with girlfriends

~Dinner out with friends

~Party at our place

~Date night just the two of us

and then we came up with the perfect plan....a getaway, just me and my man.  After recuperating from pregnancy, labor/delivery...we have really had VERY little time just to ourselves. 

Looks like the the destination will be Lake Chitaqua...pretty stoked.  It's been way too long...looking forward to some downtime with my favorite guy. 

To those who have been there, what lodging would you recommend?

new day; new perspective

after a night of crying my little eye balls out, I've decided to keep at this breastfeeding thing!  It is what I love and I am going to work for it.  (Part of the crying may have been because I watched Toy Story 2 with Jude last night and forgot about this little song....oy!)  Who wouldn't cry after seeing THAT scene?

Ironically, Lee had NO probs whatsoever with the last 3 feeds since my last post - maybe my blogging is somehow connected to my milk supply! ;-)

Anyway, I know you women out there understand....it's emotional.  it's terrifying.  it's beautiful.  it's a mess. 

Whatever this might be...nursing strike....teething...whatev.  We'll get through it...

to wean or not to wean.....

So one of my prayers to the big guy in the sky....was to be able to successfully breastfeed Leland.  Among the 10 other 'special requests', this one and ALL rest of them have been answered!  I honestly have had such a beautiful mothering/birthing/feeding experience with Leland.

And then last week happened.

All of a sudden, it appears we're on a nursing strike.  We're doing great....and now Lee's fussing like a 7-day old newborn again.

It was nuts.  He might be teething....He might have a little cold.  All I know is my supply is lessening....and he is needing fluids by bottle (which he readily takes) 

I'm trying to decide whether to keep at it with the pumping...the tricking him into nursing....dealing with the multiple wake ups in the night & hoping to GOD it's a phase....or starting to supplement him and nursing less often....or weaning altogether.

It's more of an emotional decision because I'm not sure if he's IT. My last baby or not.  What if this is the last time I'll do this....

Tough choice....tough choice indeed. 

I'm going at least one more week and seeing how things go.  I hear that the 8th month is especially a tough time for nursing...and very common for 'strikes' so we'll go with it....and see what happens! 

Would love to hear your stories...advice....suggestions! 

inspire

A dear friend of mine and I are enjoying a busy wedding season doing makeup on lovely brides...moms of brides....maids of honor....etc.

I am consistently inspired by this genre of creativity.  The face....the eyes...the lips...no 2 the same - giving the artist the opportunity to create a canvas that is unique everytime.  I feel like I view women differently now. 

We can all remember a time we felt less than beautiful.  I remember it after having Jude.  Realizing what had just happened to my tummy.  Seeing the broken blood vessels on my face.  Looking at the tiredness in my eyes.

Yet many women live daily in that place...never feeling beauty can exist on their person.  I am so sad by this.  Perhaps this is why I am enjoying the moment....after 20 minutes of applying color, shade and glam....I get to turn her around and watch her love herself the way she was designed to. 

another one of those therapy posts....don't mind me....

I have been doing a ton of thinking lately.

Some of it has led to positive self-change.  Some has led to worry or fear.  It's so hard to control the mind.  To me, positive thinking has come easy.  I used to relate with the movie Pollyanna as I felt like her in so many way.  So much so, I probably annoyed a heap of folks in my path.  Truth be told, sometimes I let a negative vibe gain momentum in my noggin. I get wrapped up....I lose focus of truth...and eventually find myself wallowing in a pit of self-imposed circumstance...of which never really happened. ('cept in my head)

Maybe it's normal.  Maybe it's not.

All I know is that writing it out helps.  It helps to focus on what is constant.  I find as I grow a day older each morning to be intentional about joy.  It really is my strength.  I am also so very grateful for those few friendships I have in my circle that understand/relate/don't judge when I open my very guarded heart up to them. 

Why do I guard my heart so much more now than I did 10 years ago?