Thursday, April 8, 2010

transparency

Time for a really honest post.

While it's honestly tough to write about this, I know its healthy for me.  I know that fruit can come of being open...rather than hiding.

As a child, I had a struggle....it seemed to creep on me everywhere.  It was my weight.  I couldn't, for the life of me, look like everyone else did.  It embarrassed me.  It made me feel like I wasn't as good as others. 

As I've grown, I have tasted momentary healthy periods but it's still a consistent struggle.  I look at the family I've come from.  One side, in particular, struggles with their weight. diabetes. high blood pressure. heart disease.

It's sad, honestly.  One attitude to have is a 'Well, those are my genes, guess I'm stuck with them...." or "I realize my history and NOW is the time to work towards preventative healthcare."  I am choosing the latter.  I am choosing to be a Mom/Wife/Friend/Daughter that is an example of health, self-control, and discipline. 

I'm doing the p90x program right now.  Joel is joining me.  More than the program, however, is the life-change.  It's the change of how I make choices that affect my body.  Rather than, "Oh well, this party only has fatty foods, guess I'll eat them!"  I make a choice to pre-plan...carry protein bars with me...offer to bring a healthy dish so at least one item is OK for me to have.  I know I can do this.  I have before.  I will again.

I write this not just for my own personal therapy but for inspiration to everyone.  What was the 'thing' that you struggled with all those years?  What attitude or negative thought has followed you like a dark cloud?  Make today the day it ends.  Make today the day you start something fresh....removing the old and starting the new.

This is a photo of me after I had lost 40lbs...ironically I got pregnant JUST after reaching my goal.  I was at Motherhood Maternity trying on clothes with the 'fake belly' they give you.  :)

2 comments:

Blessed Mamma said...

Thanks for sharing your struggles Jessica! You are such a treasure.

Maura @MiniMaura said...

i've known you since 8th grade and have ALWAYS found you strikingly beautiful!

goodluck with p90x! i started their insanity program last monday.