Wednesday, June 22, 2011

networking socially

facebook to me is really interesting.

To many, it gets the word out about their business or organization.
To others, it is about showing the cuteness of their offspring.
To some, it is about staying in contact with a group worth caring about to keep in an online list.

To me, it's just another tool to invest in what I believe is the most important thing: RELATIONSHIPS

Every now and again, I will peruse the site and come across a name of a person I haven't talked with in a while...I'll click on their name & VOILA: They have de-friended me!

It doesn't happen alot....but when it does....well, it wierds me out.

Are they mad at me?  Were they just cleaning up their list?

I usually think about it for about a minute...move on with my life....and look ahead to the next relationship.

In the many talks Joel and I have had, this is one of the reasons he is so anti-facebook.  The drama associated with deactivated accounts & defriending.

In alot of ways, he is right on.  It's like once you get on the ride & buckle up, it's hard to get off.

I mean, I have definitely defriended my share of folks....but always for a reason.

Mine are pretty simple:

1-If you creep me out or try to go to a location that I frequent (Yes, this has happened) You're gone & blocked!


2-If you use loads of obscenities or are hurtful toward others, I just prefer to remove the negativity

This 'little' list of mine got me wondering why others delete people....perhaps I'm naive and I'm allowing my circle to not be as tight as it ought to be.  So...I turn the question to you:

Why else should someone be deleted?  (aside from creepiness/negativity)


Maura said...

if you look at my friend #, it'll appear i never delete, but i have. recently, i had a lot of girls who loved drama and bringing me down. they're gone. their family memebers were deleted as well. and while doing that, i felt compelled to get rid of a few others. a few from bars/restaurants/bands/groups that i rarely frequent that send out annoying emails/invites. i also got rid of just a few people that for some reason i added, but don't really know. i felt so guilty afterwards, yet felt good. don't worry, you're going nowhere. you're adorable

Anonymous said...

Facebook has people easily thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. The "what-if" factor, or the "I should have" thinking. It can be devastating to a person's own life if these thoughts take hold. Envy is dangerous and I think if someone on your fb account created that emotion, they need to be de-friended.

Pastor Paul said...

I could care less about the defriending, if they use offensive language or only play the silly games I just hide all their posts. My issue is with people who live in the same house that wish happy birthday, mother's day father's day (or any other holiday) and have to say I love you to their spouse on Facebook. You live together! Tell them to their face! I'm not impressed. Don't people talk to each other in person anymore. Are they sitting side by side but talking through a computer?

Thank for the opportunity to vent

JMillerFam said...

@Maura - thanks dear - totally makes sense.

@Anon - interesting twist I hadn't thought of....I guess, though, wouldn't it depend on the person 'doing the deleting' - how would one know they are creating that emotion?

I mean...if we are feeling envious, how could that person truly be at fault?

Or are you saying 'just rid yourself of any possibility of envy by deleting people who seemingly have what you covet'

*intrigued by this perspective*

Christine said...

I say don't cry over spilt milk. I think people delete friends because their numbers get too high or maybe you end up not having that much in common. It is not necessarily that personal. I on the other hand, love our fb chats, love to see what you are up to with your family and that MAKES my heart full. Cheers to you for spreading your happiness!