Wednesday, August 31, 2011


I'm noticing lots of memories flooding back to me.

Thankful for them.

Leland is entering a season I so vividly remember with Jude at this same stage. The constant blabber with moments of understood english, the sweet snuggling while watching Thomas the Tank Engine & ELMO, and the development of a personality that is unafraid of anything.

I took Leland to a beautiful area outside of the city this morning. We enjoyed fruit, juice & a latte. We climbed a playground. We swung on swings.

Most importantly, I remembered my 6 yr old at this age. It is not hard with his little brother wearing his clothes & looking so similar. I remembered Jude's sweet voice at this age & savored Leland's little voice. I took it as an opportunity to sort of rewind time for a moment.

I guess I didn't expect this to happen when we found out at our 20 wk ultrasound that another boy was on the way. While there was slight little part of me that had hoped for a daughter, I had no idea how much I'd love this moment & this chance to see a piece of my little Jude again.

Life got too busy when Jude was at this stage. Joel and I were both working too much & Jude was barely with us week to week...instead he was with babysitters a LOT. While we quit that pace before he turned 3, I regret missing that time with him.

I am grateful for more downtime now with Leland than I had back then with Jude. It's redemptive & refreshing. Maybe I'll take ONE MORE BOY just so I can have this again....

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