Do you ever have those times where you aren't sad about anything...but you are just there? It's one of those nights. I had a wierd day. Crazy week. Bad night of sleep. etc. etc.
I am also in a strange season of life. Summer is upon us so Jude is home everyday all day....for the last time til next Summer. (That makes me feel massively emotional and like I want to carve the words "Carpe Diem" everywhere so I don't take a moment of it for granted) I am getting more work with a new business venture (This is becoming a beautiful creative outlet for me). I am working part-time for my church as the executive assistant to the Pastor. (Which has been a wonderful way for me to help bring home a little bacon as well as feel significant in the workplace) My husband's full-time job and side jobs are nutso right now so I am trying to help make our home a peaceful place with meals waiting....clothes laundered...children happy to see him. (This is the part I'm having the hardest time with)
I knew it would happen. I knew that one day I'd reach a point in my life where I would clean and prepare my home....and 5 seconds later, it would look like a tsunami hit it. We're there. I keep tripping over light sabers....stepping on legos....squishing a random grape that fell from the table...and watching that jar of baby food go tumbling to my kitchen floor. It's nuts. I only have 2 kids. It's not like it needs to be THAT nuts.
I have realized the strange and STRONG need I have for structure. I want to take an entire day and organize our things into cute little plastic containers with labels. I want to take another whole day and prepare for a garage sale. I want to replace all of our tupperware with new and better tupperware. I want to remodel like 7 different parts of my home. (Not including the 5 rooms I want to paint)
TIME - it's just not what we have right now. So, the melancholy feeling sets in. I realize, all too well, that I'm human. I need rest. I need to sit. So this is what I'm doing...it feels good to write it out. All my to-do's can wait. I will get to them later.
For now....I will be inspired by this photograph by this lovely lady. I want a room with this chair in it.
Thanks for listening...all of 3 of you!