Saturday, June 5, 2010

melancholy

Do you ever have those times where you aren't sad about anything...but you are just there?  It's one of those nights.  I had a wierd day.  Crazy week.  Bad night of sleep.  etc. etc.

I am also in a strange season of life.  Summer is upon us so Jude is home everyday all day....for the last time til next Summer.  (That makes me feel massively emotional and like I want to carve the words "Carpe Diem" everywhere so I don't take a moment of it for granted) I am getting more work with a new business venture (This is becoming a beautiful creative outlet for me).  I am working part-time for my church as the executive assistant to the Pastor.  (Which has been a wonderful way for me to help bring home a little bacon as well as feel significant in the workplace) My husband's full-time job and side jobs are nutso right now so I am trying to help make our home a peaceful place with meals waiting....clothes laundered...children happy to see him.  (This is the part I'm having the hardest time with)

I knew it would happen.  I knew that one day I'd reach a point in my life where I would clean and prepare my home....and 5 seconds later, it would look like a tsunami hit it.  We're there.  I keep tripping over light sabers....stepping on legos....squishing a random grape that fell from the table...and watching that jar of baby food go tumbling to my kitchen floor.  It's nuts.  I only have 2 kids. It's not like it needs to be THAT nuts.

I have realized the strange and STRONG need I have for structure.  I want to take an entire day and organize our things into cute little plastic containers with labels.  I want to take another whole day and prepare for a garage sale.  I want to replace all of our tupperware with new and better tupperware.  I want to remodel like 7 different parts of my home.  (Not including the 5 rooms I want to paint)

TIME - it's just not what we have right now.  So, the melancholy feeling sets in.  I realize, all too well, that I'm human.  I need rest.  I need to sit.  So this is what I'm doing...it feels good to write it out.  All my to-do's can wait.  I will get to them later.

For now....I will be inspired by this photograph by this lovely lady.  I want a room with this chair in it. 



Thanks for listening...all of 3 of you! 

3 comments:

Amie said...

Oh I have so been there! I find myself there quite often- especially in the need to organize, declutter, clean, get rid of stuff mood. But where to start? And who is going to buy me all those cute plastic containers?.....

Anonymous said...

Jess been there more times than I can tell you.. I think we all go thru it. It was like that when the kid is small and even as they grow up. Now mine comes from working from home and that taking up my life and all the things I want to do in my home are on hold no time. So need like some decluttering and cleaning fairys to come in and help. Love ya

Becky at lifeoutoffocus said...

this is the story of my life right now. i feel ya babe.