a precious remembrance...

As our morning progressed...I aimed to get as much done around the house while my energy was high, boys were happy and fed, and in between breakfast and snacks. Jude sat quietly at the table coloring a picture he had made on the computer and printed "all by himself!" He would show me the colors he was choosing and in the background sat sweet Leland just swinging away with his random "goos" and "ahhs".

Jude asked me a question...out of nowhere: "Mommy are we going to have more babies like Leland?" I smiled and said, "Would you like us to?" He quickly said, "YES! I want ONE MORE brother, Mommy!" I laughed and said the ever so common Mom-Phrase: "We'll see..."

The morning went on...turned to afternoon and when Jude and I got home from preschool, I finally sat down with a glass of water. Tired. Jude turned to me with an excited look on his face..."MOMMY! I just remembered something...." Startled by his enthusiastic tone, I asked him what he remembered. "Mommy, you don't need to have another baby because I have a brother to play with in Heaven: SAM!" Unable to immediately respond, I just took that boys head and hugged into my heart...my biggest fear after the dreadful miscarriage would be that this child would be the 'forgotten' one. I am pleased that not only do I think of him everyday....but his big brother does too. Miss you darling Sam....one day I will hold you...and get ready for a couple of brothers coming your way too!