Wednesday, October 3, 2012

truth of the matter


I am definitely one of those people who tends to post positive things.

Maybe because I don't like hearing about negative stuff so I assume no one wants to hear my junk either.

Truth is that while there are a million of tasks calling out to me right now, I simply must sit and write.  My sick little Simon - who has been fighting a fever and tummy virus is actually sleeping right now.  My oldest is playing with a friend and Leland is napping at the sitter.

What do I have to say?

Life is so hard right now.  I'm so thankful and so full of joy for what I have but the truth of it is, I feel like I can't enjoy it because I'm a fire fighter right now....putting one fire out after the next.  I've been to the Pediatrician 6x in the last 8 weeks.  (Well checks, weight checks, and sick kid checks)  We've had colds, flus and croup in the last month too.  We squeezed in a mini vacation and I'm just DYING to share those photos....but they are waiting for life to get back on track too.

I know this season will pass.  I know one day I'll look back and wish to hold that feverish boy once again and feel his grip on my hair.

I'm trying to enjoy the moment but it's so hard when you sleep rarely....see friends only here and there...and have so many other balls to juggle.

I will be truthful: I've dropped a bunch of those balls.  Like a ton.  There are emails I have yet to respond to....people I need to call....a sweet Grandma I want to visit without giving her a flu bug....right now, I'd just love to float above the water without the fear that I'm about to drown.

As I write this, I know in my heart that this season will be over - it just can't stay forever.  It just can't.

I'm SO blessed - my husband is my partner and has offered such grace to me in this time.  My kids forgive me everytime I apologize for a grumpy moment and their hugs heal my tired heart.  My sweet baby tries to smile amidst his tummy pain and I must just take a moment to thank God for these men.  These men....they are my everything.

If you read this, will you do me a favor?  Will you just say a little prayer? Pray for calm and for health and for rest.

Thanks for listening....and for being the friends you are.

xoxo
Jess

2 comments:

Kirsten Smith said...

The messy details of life are entirely worth sharing too. One day you will remember these days as a part of the story-- but as for being in that moment right now, I'm praying!

At Last Event Planning said...

I am praying now......may the Lord fill you with peace and may healing and health be in your home. Hang in there!