Wednesday, February 15, 2012

one of those conversations....

Walking through this pregnancy has been so joy-filled but definitely feeling the anxiety of spreading ALL the love around to 3 boys instead of just 2.

I keep getting all misty eyed when I think of Leland 'really' getting it...that this cutie pie baby actually has to stay in our home....and live with us...

In recent days, Leland's dependent behavior has increased and it makes it all the more difficult for me to imagine another teeny person needing me just as much.  Funny coming from me as I started out my parenting journey from the spectrum of baby wise....and while I love the concept of keeping a routine & maintaining order and priorities....I do love to baby my babies.  I.Just.Do.
the 2 men of the house

We've been working hard at making memories with the boys, trying our best to show them our love despite my lack of energy or the 'changes' that are ahead.  Jude so gets it and he's so ready.  Something, however, he said just made my heart ache a little bit.  It went something like this:

Jude: Mommy, you are going to have the baby at the hospital right?

ME: Yep, and you and Lee can come and visit baby this time (Last time he wasn't allowed due to H1N1)

Jude: (hesitating) Mommy....if a Mommy dies that has a baby in her belly, does the baby die too?"

Joel: Not necessarily buddy, it depends on if help can come to the baby in time and if the baby is old enough to live outside of its Mommy.

Jude: Oh ok....

ME: Why do you ask this, babe?

Jude: I just don't want you to die when you have our next brother.

ME: (sad and shocked by this statement) Honey, Mommy is super used to this and will come home just fine and it will be a time to celebrate.  Why are worrying about this babe?

Jude: It's just that....when Luke and Princess Leia were born, their Mommy Padme died when she had them....and I just don't want you to die when you have my brother.

Joel: (trying not to laugh) Aw buddy....

Obviously, this convo told me 2 things:

1-We are so overboard with this whole Star Wars situation....I don't see that improving.

2-I have a little boy is who turning into a boy with worries and stress....hard to see it happen but it's inevitable and all we can do is communicate, share our hearts & be transparent....knowing full well our boys will reciprocate what they see.

Thanks for reading & happy Wednesday....go hug your kids!
valentines date to Menchie's complete with silly behavior and stares....


Becky at lifeoutoffocus said...

Kids are always gonna melt our hearts and challenge us. We trade in sleepless baby nights for deep convos like this. Hannah has asked me things and I've had to choke back tears as I answered her. You did good.

JMillerFam said...

thanks Bec - love that we can sorta parent alongside eachother via the world wide web....miss u!