Tuesday, February 5, 2013

February YES!

I can honestly say I am thrilled to wave farewell to January 2013.  I almost feel like I want to throw it in with 2012.  

We bit off more than we could chew in home repairs and didn't spend enough time just being still. 
Had intense work issues in which I was lied and spoken horribly about.  I have come to realize, maybe too late, that some people are just not going to like me.  

For what??

Being me.  Being happy.  Being joyful.  ??

I don't know.  It's such a puzzle in how we interact with human beings.  In some relationships, it flows so beautifully and so naturally.  We believe the best about one another and we cheer each other on in this game called Life. 

I am sometimes naive when it comes to my expectations.  I can have a bunnies and rainbows and sunshine perspective and then really get sad when I see hate, jealousy and plain old catty-ness. 

This quote from beloved researcher and author, Brené Brown, spoke to me:

Want to be happy?  Stop trying to be perfect. 

This also meant to me: It's ok if not EVERYONE likes me.  

I have to laugh at how hysterical I can be - are you like this too?  You could have 10 awesome friendships going beautifully....one lost long friend seemed 'weird' to you at a party and its all you can focus on.  Why do we focus on the one imperfection despite a myriad of beautiful relationships all around?

All this plus a group I'm a part of where we're focusing on 'insecurity' leads me to desire and choose confidence.  It's the accessory I find most attractive on everyone, including myself. 

New resolution - a month late:  Be happy with me.  Just me.  Just the way I am.

It's harder than it sounds.  It sounds so cliche. 

It's really quite imperative to joyful living, I believe. 

Moving forward, knowing that I am valuable enough and worthy enough for love, kindness and respect.  Thankful to God for removing me from a toxic environment in which I was treated less than human.  No one deserves that. 

I am also going to get a little sappy here. 

My husband is so amazing.  Not perfect.  Not always the one who says the right thing all the time. 

He just is amazing.  He works hard.  He plays with our sons like he's got the energy of a 3 yr old.  He does major home repair when I can tell he'd much rather do nothing else other than sleep.  He's faithful.  Let me say that last one again. He is faithful.

On a day that was hard last week, he wrote me an email I will never forget.  While he said many kind things, one thing he said that I won't forget was that he 'believed in my talent as an artist and always had....'  

Sometimes in the face of gossip and strife, all it takes is one person....one who really sees you...to just believe in you.

Here we go February....

1 comment:

Managed Chaos said...

I'm so glad that circumstances allowed us to meet. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. And I'm thrilled that you've reached a point where you're ready to start fresh by focusing on what truly matters in your life.