Sunday, December 30, 2012

learning our lesson

Here we are - sitting so close to a new year.

All the newness so full of inspiration.

I will be honest.  I'm so ready.  I'm ready to say farewell to a year that took me for a wild ride.

This last Christmas reminded me a bit of last Christmas. Car repairs right before the holidays, intense illness clustered at the same time, and a DIY home project that we should have waited to do til another long weekend came along.

I could sit here and lie and talk about the roar of the fire on Christmas morning but truth be told, I drank 3 cups of coffee on Christmas morning to just make it through after being up all night long with Simon who caught RSV a few days before the holiday.

Life has just been....hard.

I've been reluctant to share much as I know so many people will just tell me 'It will all get better...or God is in control..."

and those are both very TRUE!

But still...there is beauty and success gained when we are just honest about the inevitable hard points in life.  I'm not on earth to pretend life is a party - even though I really really like to party. ;-) It's been tough - shed a TON of tears, felt SO alone, tackled more on my own than ever and we made it through.  Joel and I are still here, our kids are alive and our baby grew.  I'm pretty happy about that and that is where I leave you, 2012.

2013 - I'm trying to be realistic.  I want to be healthy.  I want to eat so that my body works at its best and any illnesses that try to come its way are met with fierce immunity.  I want to know my husband better, how to serve him, love him and be even more true to him.  I long to be a Mother who is kind and compassionate and doesn't expect performers out of young boys...simply boys out of boys. I want to connect to a body of people who love God, His people and serve without judgement.  I want to better my skillset as both a makeup artist and amateur chef to my family.  I want to write more, listen more, hug more, kiss more, and rest more.

I give myself grace on the areas I will fall short but ultimately, I'm thrilled for a new beginning and wishing you all the same.

Happy New Year!


1 comment:

Judy Vlietstra said...

Oh Jessica. I am from a different generation but I do remember those days......vaguely now some 30 years later. What I remember with extreme clarity are all the preciuos, Thank you God for giving me these children to raise moments. And the moments when I was at my wits end and one of my children knew I was struggling, and would put their little arms around me and say "I love you Mommy, you're the best Mommy in they whole world" and I would just melt. Being a Mom is hard work. The rewards for being human and doing your very best are so worth it. The best part? Your kids will only remember the times you held them, snuggled with them, played with them and were their hero. They will also remember that life can be tough but Mom and Dad did it and they will somehow know from that simple fact that they can too. What great lessons they learn in our struggles! Love to you all and blessings in this New Year!