Thursday, February 28, 2013

impossibly big joy

Do you write down when the good things happen?

Sometimes I use this little blog to help as free therapy during the tough times?

Like when my baby wouldn't grow. And when we thought he might not ever grow.  Like when my husband would secretly call the Pediatrician to get more information because he didn't want to scare me with his fear of our baby dying.

Or like when your son sits with you at a table for the 2nd time having to hear his parents retell another story of a school shooting while simultaneously assuring him of his own safety at school.  When, really, you are so afraid too.

Or like when you have a crappy Christmas and everyone is sick and you ate too much and you feel rotten about yourself.

I usually blog then.

I blog today a bit differently.

To boast about how life's ebb and flow turns just slightly to offer refreshment, serenity, and a dash of joy around several corners of the day.

From the look in my (now chubby) baby's eyes the moment he sees me each it's the greatest thing he could ever see.

Or when my 3yr old holds my hand and tells me he loves me out of nowhere or that he is proud of me for going potty like a big girl just like he goes potty.  ;-)

Or when your oldest picks up around the house just so you can relax after dinner and not worry over it.

I must say this is not because of me or anything I've done but because I truly believe in the power of being a child of God and being being a daughter first, in being a friend, a lover, a mother, a sister.   I've been hearing and listening to my own heart lately and that has required intense focus.  A focus I wasn't granting myself because this last season was just so intense and hard.  Preferred sleep over 'me time' - normal completely normal, I know.

I just have to say I'm grateful this year is spinning around and looking differently.  My husband and I are heading towards our 10 year celebration of marriage - I am so grateful we found one another.  A boy from Michigan.  A girl from Ohio.  Who met in Texas.

But that's another blog post.

G'Nite.  Write down the good.  It helps.


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