Jude & Lebe

one of those conversations....

2012-02-15T08:16:00.000-08:00

Walking through this pregnancy has been so joy-filled but definitely feeling the anxiety of spreading ALL the love around to 3 boys instead of just 2.

I keep getting all misty eyed when I think of Leland 'really' getting it...that this cutie pie baby actually has to stay in our home....and live with us...

In recent days, Leland's dependent behavior has increased and it makes it all the more difficult for me to imagine another teeny person needing me just as much. Funny coming from me as I started out my parenting journey from the spectrum of baby wise....and while I love the concept of keeping a routine & maintaining order and priorities....I do love to baby my babies. I.Just.Do.

the 2 men of the house

We've been working hard at making memories with the boys, trying our best to show them our love despite my lack of energy or the 'changes' that are ahead. Jude so gets it and he's so ready. Something, however, he said just made my heart ache a little bit. It went something like this:

Jude: Mommy, you are going to have the baby at the hospital right?

ME: Yep, and you and Lee can come and visit baby this time (Last time he wasn't allowed due to H1N1)

Jude: (hesitating) Mommy....if a Mommy dies that has a baby in her belly, does the baby die too?"

Joel: Not necessarily buddy, it depends on if help can come to the baby in time and if the baby is old enough to live outside of its Mommy.

Jude: Oh ok....

ME: Why do you ask this, babe?

Jude: I just don't want you to die when you have our next brother.

ME: (sad and shocked by this statement) Honey, Mommy is super used to this and will come home just fine and it will be a time to celebrate. Why are worrying about this babe?

Jude: It's just that....when Luke and Princess Leia were born, their Mommy Padme died when she had them....and I just don't want you to die when you have my brother.

Joel: (trying not to laugh) Aw buddy....

Obviously, this convo told me 2 things:

1-We are so overboard with this whole Star Wars situation....I don't see that improving.

2-I have a little boy is who turning into a boy with worries and stress....hard to see it happen but it's inevitable and all we can do is communicate, share our hearts & be transparent....knowing full well our boys will reciprocate what they see.

Thanks for reading & happy Wednesday....go hug your kids!

valentines date to Menchie's complete with silly behavior and stares....

for always coming home to me....

2012-02-14T06:38:00.000-08:00

I will never forget dancing with you to this song....

awkwardly at a wedding before you knew

I liked you and I knew you liked me....

and then again on our wedding day during our first dance.

Thanks for ALL you are....not just

for what you do or for how you do it but simply

for being who you are.

Happy Valentines Day to my one and only!

originality

2012-02-13T07:57:00.000-08:00

Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever
be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth you will, nine times out of
ten, become original without ever having noticed it.

This quote has never meant more to me as I stare 2012 in the face. This season has been both beautiful and messy. I've never felt the need to truly remember and stop to think about the person I was supposed to be.

Given the world in which we live where social media and pinterest come along and lure us on a discovery of 'who am I really?" or 'Oh I'll create a pin board of 'my style'' - nothing of which has anything to do with us....not even the photograph taken was by us.

Instead of pinning, which I've done too, why don't we start looking inside...thinking, using our brain, deciding for ourselves what today, tomorrow, this year and this decade is supposed to be. It will not be what 'so and so' pinned....because it's not real. The originator was never supposed to be this phantom blogger of which we'll never know. The reality is what is - it's what's inside.

Perhaps less of all this 'sharing & pinning' is what is ahead....or perhaps sharing more about what is equally painful and messy....after all, life isn't rainbows and sunshine always....

I am simplifying, posting less often and writing more often. I don't write for anyone but me and I write because it heals my soul and makes me realize I'm not crazy - I'm just me.

print courtesy

Thanks for listening....

tweet tweet. i think you're sweet.

2012-02-10T05:05:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day is very commercial.

To us, though, we've always made it be a day that we remember all those sweet moments that really matter.

This year, being pregnant, reminds me of my pregnancy 7 years ago with my Jude. I remember being so frustrated that I wasn't showing (yet I had gained nearly 40lbs already...OMG!) and I remember Joel and I getting a hotel and getting away for 2 nights....all the dinners, shopping, movies. It was a 'last hoorah' of sorts I'll never forget.

7 years later and prego with boy #3, we are keeping it simple and doing dinner at a local romantic spot that has become special to us. We never fail to have remarkable conversation paired with delightful french-inspired food.

Our VDay is TODAY! A kid free evening awaits us - time to bust out my hottest maternity dress and glossiest red lip...but I'm just as excited for next Tuesday, the 'actual' VDay when we treat our boys to an evening candy hunt and give them some love too....enjoy these cute (and FREE) printables care of thelongthread.com

fat, sick and nearly dead

2012-02-08T09:59:00.000-08:00

Oh goodness - have you seen this documentary yet?

You probably have.

You probably are the one who told ME to see it.

Well, I did.

Can I share my thoughts?

First off, if you have not seen it - quick summary: An Australian gentleman with a good bit of weight to lose decides to do a raw juice fast with 100% veggies/fruits and nothing else for 60 days to try and correct some health problems he was recently diagnosed with. He comes to the states to document his journey and along the way, inspires others.....especially a certain truck driver whose future was very limited because of his obesity, poor diet & lack of information & resources.

What I loved - despite the cheesy illustration & cartoons that are interjected - was how a story of one man turned into a small revolution that helped kickstart people of all ages to realize this:

FOOD is meant to keep us healthy, not subtract years from living & breathing.

FOOD can cure ailments that otherwise would require dose upon dose of pills for years....or worse, forever.

I firmly believe that more knowledge is helpful and I really thought I knew somethings...but wow, this documentary was entirely helpful in showing me how teaching your body to 'go without' for a time can be so so wonderful.

In my extended family alone, we've lost people FAR too early simply because of diet, lack of exercise or just denial of disease that was attacking the body because of a major imbalance of veggies/protein/carbohydrates/sugars, etc. 70% of what is killing the U.S. is entirely preventable.... holy outrage!

All those intense stats aside, I know food is and can be a source of comfort...but it's all in the little changes. Rewarding your child for good grades or behavior with a great new book, a trip to favorite park....and NOT sugar. One meal at a time....one meal at a time.....I have to continue to tell myself that as we are a work in progress and not doing all this perfectly....

Ok the rant is complete....on with our lives.

so we bake bread now...

2012-02-07T05:49:00.000-08:00

Joel bought me this beautiful book last year....and we've had every intention of really trying out the tried and true dutch oven method of baking bread but just never made the time.

Until this weekend.

This book has such lovely photographs, ideas & recipes. We tried the basic no-knead bread this weekend but I am looking forward to playing around with nuts, dried fruits & olives in our breads to come.

photos by me - on the remarkable iphone 4S

best.weekend.ever

2012-02-06T04:44:00.000-08:00

This weekend was nothing short of beautiful & restful.

Even now as I write, I'm a little sad its all over and we're back to the week of routine and school and work and such.

Our #1 resolution for 2012 was to quiet down our lives, make room for one another and for our next little Miller man....

We really enjoyed our sons this weekend - listened to them - played with them - cooked with them
AND took breaks from them.

Hope you are making time for each other, putting to-do lists away for a few moments and remembering why you work so hard in the first place.

Here's a taste of our time together....

snuggling + hot chili + brussel sprout salad + Joel's guacamole = FAVORITE weekend!

+10

2012-02-01T09:11:00.000-08:00

I've hit it.

The 10lb mark in this pregnancy. (at 22 weeks)

Why am I documenting this ridiculousness? No, its not because I have nothing else creative to say....

The reason is that compared to my pregnancy with Jude (who at this point I had put on 37lbs by now)
and compared to my Leland (who at this point I had put on 17lbs by now)....

I am pretty proud of myself.

The tough parts were in the beginning when no foods sound good....'cept cereal and meatballs.

The other aspect is when a healthy & active lifestyle is 'already' in effect, your metabolism is just moving quicker, responding faster & not doing the damage it could on the body.

I'm thrilled to say that while it'd be nice to just use all my previous maternity clothes, they are too BIG. yay!

Amazing how you live & learn....and while they say "Oh don't worry about what you eat during your pregnancy" ....I know better and I know how hard it gets when your tummy drags on the floor, your cheeks look like they are always full of food...and your legs could resemble trees at Yosemite...no thanks!

Here's to keeping lbs coming on....slowly....

an 85 year celebration....

2012-01-31T04:18:00.000-08:00

You know in blogland, you read all the time about cute parties, elegant soirees, and fantastically decorated weddings....you rarely hear about a lovely party for someone who's lived through all those milestones and more!

My Mom had an idea of how to celebrate my Grandmother's 85th birthday - a SURPRISE party thrown just for her all about HER! If you know my Grandma, she is no attention hog so this would surely be something she'd never forget. I remember watching my boys as the room hushed and we prepared to yell SURPRISE! They loved seeing their sweet Abuela's smile as she gazed at a room full of friends and family who dearly love her and wanted their best wishes to be given personally on her big day.

My Grandmother's passion - aside from family & prayer....is sewing. She is known for making beautiful pieces for all her friends, family, grandchildren as they walk through weddings/babies...so my Mom threw a party themed around buttons & the therapeutic role sewing has played in her life.

Here are a few pics from her day....so loved being a part of this event for the sweetest Grandma ever....

Children in bottom right photo: My Mom on the left and my Uncle Sam on the right (I looked JUST like this as a little girl)

cakes done by Cakes by Julie

so much more than I bargained for...

2012-01-30T10:12:00.000-08:00

In realizing how many balls we're juggling these days, I've never been more aware of the little things my husband and sons do to help make this machine of a household run.

It's such a sacrifice on various levels to give without expectation of a return and to continue doing something even if, perhaps, you aren't thanked for it.

I guess its the definition of selfless - simply not focusing so much about what SELF needs.

My husband and I have sought out to be people who exemplify this characteristic and often fail with one another....

This last weekend was an example of where my husband went above and beyond to help, love & admonish me. He reminded me that I'm pregnant and my energy levels just aren't what they used to be....on account of growing a human 24/7....he made sure little things were done so I wouldn't have to worry and he treated me to pampering which helped the entire process, let's just be honest.

All this is said not in a manner to brag but to remind ME that there are needs we all can be meeting for one another. Yes, our lives are hard....we might be going through a rough time, etc....but take eyes off of self and look to help/encourage/assist.

I'm grateful Joel reminded me of this recently....

LOVE this poster found here

organization part 2

2012-01-25T05:15:00.000-08:00

Was SUPER motivated last week to purge old junk, organize & repurpose some spaces last week in our home.

Ironically, I tackled the lower level built-in shelves in our dining room. Since we've moved here, we've literally used one for coloring items and play-doh....and the other for, well, stuff we didn't know what to do with.

Do you have one of those places? a Junk drawer of sorts but you cling on to things like the packaging to a gift you got....the box your GPS came in...the instructions to a dishwasher you are perfectly able to use....

Yeah, that was our drawer - I emptied it, surveyed what we needed. Turns out I had been keeping (unknowingly) a photograph of Joel and his ex-girlfriend from WAY back in the day....for the last 9 years of marriage. I had to chuckle and say to myself, 'Jess its time to throw some things away....'

So there I stood with empty units, their contents in garbage bags or in other more appropriate locations of the house and I had to choose: What is the purpose of this space?

It felt good to make that choice. Rather than allow life to come at me and for me to react by hiding items I didn't know I didn't need....

So, the unorganized and overstuffed cabinets are now my little baking houses caring for my baking pans, mixer, etc.

It felt good to make that choice and I'm excited to tackle our linen closet today....

the container

2012-01-24T05:55:00.000-08:00

We are full on into maternity clothing around here - or at least clothing that is forgiving.

I am strangely reminded of the pregnancy with Jude - due almost the exact same time frame, got pregnant during a year after losing a good deal of weight, etc.

It was sad to put some new clothing away. Clothing I JUST got into. Wasn't I just blogging about getting into my skinny jeans like a minute ago?

SIGH

Now don't feel bad - I'm not fishing for compliments about my looks - trust me, I know pregnancy is a beautiful state and I wouldn't trade it for the world.....there is just something about seeing that huge panel of fabric extend on the end of your new jeans....that makes you laugh a bit at what is happening to your body. Joel gives me the 'Aw look at you...' face almost every day now.

It's part of the process and I'm ever as eager to pull out that container when the bump goes down....

In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy being a little large and in charge for the next 19 weeks....heck, someone asked if I'm due 'anytime now...." the other day. I just smiled...."nope, only halfway! "

(at least I'm not as big as Mia Farrow carrying twins...yet....photo below)

Happy Tuesday lovies.....

organization

2012-01-17T07:12:00.000-08:00

There is a belief out there by many people - even those who know me well - who truly think I am organized.

It blesses my heart.
It makes me feel good.

BUT

I am truly deceiving you all. If I am organized, it is because I work VERY hard at it or am completely annoyed by 'stuff'

It doesn't come natural.

This year, unlike last year, my resolutions aren't many. Last year, my goal was to drop 20lbs (which I did), start a running regimen (which I did) and finish a 10K (which I did).

This year, I am focusing on the home. Making the home special, organized, pleasing to the eye and creating practical storage solutions that will work for even our little Leland.

My goals are to completely organize my kitchen cupboards, office, linen closets & laundry space...oh yeah and obviously....our new son's room.

Here is my inspiration but would LOVE to hear your ideas on how to stay organized!

major major nesting

2012-01-16T06:44:00.000-08:00

The 20 week mark has come and gone.

We are now less than 20 weeks away from meeting this boy.

The nesting instinct has taken full force and several organizational projects are ready to go. The MAJOR one we wanted to cross off our list was our boys' room - we moved Jude and Lee in together about 2 weeks ago and couldn't be happier with how the transition has gone. They are even becoming closer buds now that they are roomies. *warmfuzzyfeeling*

My husband did a remarkable job with the refinishing of our beautiful hardwood floors, installation of new baseboards and painting the walls a crisp white. We took off their closet door to enhance the size of the room and utilize the top for clothing/storage and the bottom for toys & games.

I am so proud of my man!

Here was Jude's room before:

and Jude & Lee's room AFTER

that day....

2012-01-13T04:19:00.000-08:00

The magical day came this past Tuesday - we scrambled at 6am to get ready for the day, gets kids out to sitter/school, get my hair looking less like I stay at home all the time....and get to our appt by 8:00am. Our plan was to have them stick the 'results' in an envelope to allow Joel and I to experience the surprise on our own, alone.

I did this for 3 reasons:

1-I know my husband SO well and he will not act as 'real' if there is this stranger playing with his wife's belly and I wanted this to be 'real'.

2-If we were going to have a 3rd son, I didn't want there to be an awkward lull or wierdness in the U/S room.

3-If we were having a girl, I wanted that crazy surprise to be somethng that I'd remember sharing only with my love.

We walked into the office, checked in & were greeted by our ultrasound technician. Usually, my experiences there have been with really wonderful technicians and this one just seemed like she was having a bad morning or something. Her touch to my belly was rough and at a few points, I would say 'Ouch' as she was trying to gather information. This is my 3rd child so I know what this feels like and it felt like she was taking out some anger on my uterus.

NOT so magical.

Next we told her that we'd like the surprise to be in an envelope and she gave us the 'Wow you guys are really creative....no one's EVER done that before..." look.

Again...killing the magic.

As she was getting measurements, it was obvious there were some that our baby was being difficult with allowing her to capture. She had me lay down lower, move slightly trying to get baby in the right position. Joel sweetly asked her, 'Oh are you having a hard time finding the sex of the baby?" She replied 'No, I got that right away..."

Hmmm....don't give it away or anything, lady!

Once she concluded her portion of the job, she quickly left and said that the doctor would be in shortly to go over the results. I always get SO frightened at what news he might have for us....or if there is something major missing that they want to tell us...

He walked in, very jovial and very kind and very unlike the tech who had just left. He said, 'Do you guys have any kids yet?" (obviously he knew what the sex was by now) and we responded "Yes, we've got 2 boys!" He looked at us with a smirk and said, "Perfect! You've got a good-looking kid here...but I'll tell ya....he's got ants in his pants."

YEP.

He said it. He said 'he'. He spoiled our surprise with one little phrase.

Joel didn't catch it but I did and I instantly started to prepare myself for a houseful of men.

He proceeded to tell us the beautiful news that this baby was 11 ounces, active, perfect, excellent blood flow and amniotic fluid....this baby was just perfect. Music to my ears...

He left the room, I wiped my gooey gut off and we grabbed our envelope. You'd think we'd do something sweet and creative and go to dinner and open over some delicious appetizers...but no, we ran to the stairwell like idiots and ripped open that envelope. There it was. The answer we'd waited all this time for. It's a boy. They stuck this little baby icon with a blue onesie on...and life was different. Life was changing. Our oldest son Jude was now oldest of 3 boys...our baby was now our middle son...

It'd be a lie to say that we jumped up and down and embraced with music playing and doves encircling us...the thought of a little girl brought a sweetness and a newness we thought would be beautiful. I had imagined the idea of a boy and a girl....so while I LOVED thinking of our family dynamic now...I had to grieve a tad over the other idea I had been imagining...I had to let that go. Joel did too and I could tell a little teeny part of his heart hurt.

Just an hour or so later, I was working at the Bobbi Brown counter nearby and business was slow. I stood there cleaning up the glosses and organizing lip shades and letting the whole idea of boy #3 sink in. I dreamed, I imagined and truly started to bond with my newest and adorable little man. A woman came up to the counter looking for an alternative to her Bare Mineral makeup and I had the chance to show her Bobbi's version...she ironically was the first person to ask me (without me telling her I'm pregnant) when I'm due. I smiled and told her early June and told her it was great that I was starting to look pregnant and not just like I ate too much salted caramel bark over the holidays. We both laughed...she then got a sad look over her eyes and out of nowhere shared, "I've been trying for over 8 years to get pregnant....maybe I'm just more in tune to pregnant women because of that." There, in that moment, I remembered that pain. I felt it, saw it, smelled it. I remembered that feeling I got when EVERYONE was pregnant all around me and it just wouldn't work for me. It's amazing how people walk into your path at a time when you BOTH need it.

I encouraged her with my story, my dietary changes, and just wanted her to leave the counter with more than just BB products in hand....but also with hope. It turns out she had endometriosis and with advanced maternal age, her doctor was using the big guns to get her pregnant.

In those few moments after this woman left the counter, I quickly uttered my thanks to God for the gift of another son....regardless of whatever I could imagine...I knew my God entrusted me with what He felt best....so grateful...so so grateful.

my 3 sons...2 on my lap, one teeny one in my tummy....

blog name?

2012-01-06T07:49:00.000-08:00

I literally woke up this morning thinking....
I am having another baby - should I change the name of my blog? HA!

Who knows? Would hate to leave baby #3 out but j&l has such a nice ring to it...we'll see I guess.

Tuesday is the day. The day we discover how life will alter more specifically come June.

Is it a boy or is it a girl?

This pregnancy has not given me a 'gut' feeling either way. For some reason, the only names I have are boy names....the only little things I imagine about our family's lifestyle include 3 very blonde chubby cheeked boys....and you know what, that would be SO wonderful. The idea of a girl is a tad intimidating to me...just the unknown, the new stuff, the emotional & chemical differences. While I'd be ridiculously thrilled to welcome a daugther, a boy does seem safe.

My husband, on the other hand, is very different. He came from 4 boys in his own family and when I mention the thought of a daughter, he gets this sort of dreamy, sweet sort of look in his eye. I'd love to see him hold his daughter's hand...and melt.

BUT

It still remains to be seen. All I know is....I told God this time LAST year...I was done 'trying' to have a baby. I was done with fertility treatments & dragon pills that made you want to do anything BUT baby-make. I specifically remember telling Him if he wanted us to have a third, He'd have to make it happen and let it be a surprise.

A surprise in Dublin it certainly was....so whatever you are little baby....we'll adore you and care for you just the same.

And maybe we'll get you one of these so we can rock nice and cozy....

Happy Friday, loves.

over the moon

2012-01-04T04:56:00.000-08:00

I know not everyone is married and I know not everyone wants to be.

That is completely OK.

Something that everyone needs to learn (including me) is how powerful it is to continually celebrate your spouse, remind them of their incredible potential, & be the positive voice that says, 'You're phenomenally talented & you astound me..." *even when times get tough*

I am learning this and this year, I am setting out to be that edifying voice - marriage is NOT intended to be like 'Everybody Loves Raymond' with a nagging wife & passive husband....

2 people CAN collaborate in more than just procreation.....but also in creativity, in music, in spirit, in strategy.

Whether you 'feel' like your spouse needs to work on their issues or not....it's ALWAYS easier to control what you can: YOU

YOU choose to affirm them when no one else might
YOU choose to surprise them with kindness & thoughtful behavior....
YOU choose to pray & support them in the quiet of your heart....it will matter to them one day

Food for thought during this inspiring start to a year....more change happens when we allow the need to be 'right' to take a backseat to the need to serve.

all things new

2012-01-02T10:33:00.000-08:00

Hope your holidays were Merry...ours were tougher than we'd hoped. Just a blustery combination of sickness, unfortunate car repairs & mishaps galore. It resulted in crabby behavior and less than magical moments....but we.made.it.through.

I have been reading through a lot of 'reflection' blogs lately....looking back and then quickly looking ahead.

I couldn't help but marvel at the last 3 years.

-Joel's career completely aligning with what he'd originally dreamed about doing way back when we were dating....

-2 children who have literally brought life out of us and caused our guts to hurt from the laughter they've evoked...

-Our hearts have healed from several years of spiritual abuse at jobs where we were intimidated, manipulated & all in the name of God. We still look back and thank GOD we got out of there when we did.

-Friendships bountiful in honesty, openness, sillyness, seriousness & full of genuine care. This one we prayed for YEARS ago...

- A marriage that's made it through nearly 9 years...and not just survived but love that has taken a whole new dive into covenant, faithfulness & respect. I am truly able to be better as I learn to love my husband & give wholly to him.

It's been quite a crossroads - these last 3-4 years - and 2011 topped it off as the year we REALLY did what we talked about doing. The point where we moved from 'decision' to 'action'.

~Joel and I stopped talking about booking an 'us-only' vacation and we DID it! (good thing as we came home pregnant and it might have been our last shot for one of those for a long while!)

~I stopped talking about running again and actually did it, finished my first ever 10K run, and continued a health regime resulting in 20lbs lost and LOTS of confidence gained.

~We put time and love into our home, our bedroom, our kids' rooms....makes it hard to even think of selling as this place as it fits us like a glove.

All this to say, I'm proud of us. We didn't just talk about it. We did it.

The same goes for 2012. We do not plan to fail we plan to accomplish our goals. I hope you are too...make that margin between decision & action no margin at all! You will feel great this time next year!

last minute holiday idea....

2011-12-22T08:10:00.000-08:00

I know lots of us enjoy a simple way to tell others we love them....I decided to tell my family & friends this via chocolate....

Incase you are stumped on a last minute stocking stuffer or yummy treat to pass at your holiday gathering, here is one that is sure to please. I can't tell you how many times I keep catching my husband & kids sneaking these treats when I've been trying to save them as little gifts....

Holiday Salted Caramel (+chocolate) Bark

What You Need2 sticks of unsalted butter
1 cup light brown sugar

1 pound bag of mini pretzels sticks
12 ounce bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips
sea salt, for sprinkling on top

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Cover a baking sheet with aluminum foil. Set aside.

Melt 2 sticks of butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. While the butter is melting, place enough pretzels on the prepared baking sheet to form a single, even layer.

Once the butter has melted, add the brown sugar and stir well to incorporate. Allow the brown sugar and butter to simmer and bubble, but do not let it boil. You may need to adjust the temperature to low. Stir the butter-sugar mixture occasionally. It should take about 3 minutes for the butter and sugar to caramelize, but keep a close eye on it because it will burn quickly.

When the sugar and butter have caramelized, pour the mixture evenly over the pretzels, strafing it back and forth down the length of the sheet. The caramel hardens quickly so it’s important to pour it as evenly and quickly as possible. If there are any clumps, use an offset spatula to spread the caramel as best you can. Bake for 5-7 minutes.

While those bake, set up a double boiler for your chocolate chips and careful the water does not touch the bottom of the container that chips are setting in - they will burn! Once smooth and melted, pour the chocolate over the pretzel-caramel mixture, strafing it down the length of the baking sheet just as you did for with the caramel layer. Again, move evenly and quickly. Use an offset spatula to smooth out any clumps or thick spots. Sprinkle sea salt evenly over chocolate before it starts to harden. Allow the baking sheet to harden in the fridge for at least 1 hour.

When the bark has cooled and hardened, remove from the fridge and carefully pull the aluminum foil off the back. Break the bark into pieces and serve. Best stored in the refrigerator.

My hubby designed these cutie pie labels....

ENJOY!!!

a beautiful season

2011-12-21T04:51:00.000-08:00

Can we just shout hip hip hooray for a fantastic wedding season?

I can't tell you how many brides I nearly cried with this year due to such gorgeous families & beautifully woven family histories. I consider it a huge honor to be present during the hours when Dads see their little girl become a bride...Mothers help dress their daughters...sisters offer support and encouragement.

While my role simply lies around doing the makeup, I find the energy that fills a bride room completely compelling. I always think back to my wedding day. Every. Time.

Many thanks to my awesome mentor and company owner, Kimberly! I am excited that we not only share a love for bridal makeup....but we are also sharing pregnancy together as our due dates are only about 5 weeks apart. Want to book us for next year? You might see us with babies in our makeup kit....no extra charge!

Happy Wednesday Friends....

photo courtesy of lovely & talented Suzanne Cofer of Suzuran Photography

photo courtesy of ZMedia's talented Dan & April O'Keefe

the last 2 photos courtesy of ZMedia's Owners & fantastic photographers: Chris & Julie First

the gift of giving

2011-12-19T08:55:00.000-08:00

The older I get the more I enjoy the act of giving. Perhaps with years on earth comes the basic realization that 'keeping for oneself' is not nearly as refreshing as giving to others.

The other thing I love almost as much as giving is packaging the gifts so they are special, significant and create a special feeling once given from my hand to theirs.

To the ladies on my side of the family, I have a special packaging plan. I must give credit to my obsession over the summer with Aladdins Cuisine for aiding me in finding this adorable little shop in Lakewood. It's called Cosmic Collectibles and it sits just a few doors down from where I would weekly get my Baba Garden Rolled fix in. I have been so excited to see what new things store owner, Robin, brings in. I am in love with the dressers, vintage chairs, mirrors (which I've already nabbed one and it's on my wall as we speak) & all at reasonable prices.

One of my most recent purchases were a stack of adorable vintage strawberry containers....dating back to who knows when. These adorable boxes are a perfect square & ideal for the gifts that fit inside. Instead of covering the gingham print & illustration of strawberries with wrapping paper, I simply tied with bakers twine & added a colorful tag.

Can you guess what's inside?

breathing a little easier

2011-12-16T05:22:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow marks my 16th week in this pregnancy.

I am both shocked that we're already to this point and amazed that all has gone so smoothly.

It was when I was 15wks and 5 days that I lost my 2nd and ever since then I have a hard time relaxing until I hit that 16wk mark. It's just SO far along and the bonding is already too deep.

Having friends who have lost babies later, lost multiples, or had stillborns....it just makes you wonder how much can the heart truly tolerate?

There is still a little place in me that wonders every day what life would be like if those little feet pattered about the house....he'd be 3 now.

Instead, though, I relax a little bit more today than I have in the last 4 months resting assure that all is well....occasional flutters remind me that life has begun and when I'm tired, I rest. (something more women need to learn to do) Walking into a weekend that will be both exciting and relaxing. Looking ahead to some alone time, some time with Joel and some time with sweet friends. Hope you are looking ahead and not looking back during this season. So much good is in store.

I treasure this little pic of baby Sam....taken Sept 27, 2007.

love affair with burlap

2011-12-15T06:56:00.000-08:00

I can't stop looking at burlap-related items. Completely timeless, perfect for various ages, and can be enhanced, printed on, and easily become art. *LOVE*

how pretty would this look holding presents together....

If you know anything about us, we are obsessed with letters in our house......

whoa this would feed both my addictions: to burlap and to tote bags

I love two different colors of burlap on this one. gorgeous.

darling in every way.

a shoe moment

2011-12-13T05:09:00.000-08:00

I am funny about my shoes.

So funny that I really do prefer (usually) to shop alone for them. I like to really look at them, distraction-free and not feel any pressure to hurry or delay a decision I want to make.

Over the last 2-3 years, I've gotten a bit more adventurous in my shoe choices. BUT the one area I always have remained against (except for working out or walking to the bus to get my son) were wearing flats in public. Call me CRAZY but I like the big girls heels....no.matter.what.

When you are 5ft 4, every little bit helps....

I was meandering through blogland and came across wedge sneakers and thought....I could do this! oh Santa....

a wall

2011-12-08T05:13:00.000-08:00

Joel recently transformed our first floor space with new paint & freshly laid tile by our hearth. With the addition of our Christmas tree (which by the way is our FAVORITE ever) we are just so enjoying the look & feel of our home & living space.

There is one naked wall, however. It used to hold some prints that we got at a local store but we are just simply wanting to tell a bolder story and draw the eye upward once you walk into our living space.

After a trip to Ireland which has of course inspired intense desire to travel ALL over the world....we've decided to create a wall of maps.

All shapes, All sizes, in modern frames, in vintage frames, just plain old maps....with the hopes that they will spark conversation with those who visit and create in us the desire to not only speak of various cities but to go out and see them with our own eyes.

Here is some of my inspiration....

this one, of course, captures my heart as it's home....

I love this idea for sending a gift to a friend who enjoys seeing the world as much as we do....

This one I could stare at for hours....

I love the modern & fresh feeling this one has - it also reminds me of climbing Pikes Peak back in 2000 with Joel and 500 of my closest friends....

a beautiful soul

2011-12-07T04:47:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was an intense day as we said goodbye with the entire Miller side of the family to the sweetest lady ever. The funeral was sweet & loving....Joel and his brother sang a few of her favorite songs and that is something she had specifically requested.

Something I loved about their memory of her was this particular table of photographs of family who had already gone on before her. She had lost her daughter a few years back, her late husband several years ago & Matt (Joel's brother/her grandson) and all their photos were displayed. It was also beautiful to see the bible that Joel's parents had bought her years and years ago on the table opened to the chapter about a wife of noble character (Proverbs 31)....wow, what an honor to have that be your page on the day of your funeral.

Grandma Mary on the left, Joel's brother Matt pictured on the right and the bible below opened to Proverbs 31.

Joel's Grandmother was the quintessential Grandma type. The type that loved cuddling and reading books and kissing babies and rubbing prego bellies and telling stories and caring for little ones and enjoying the noise that children make rather than being bothered by it. Her voice was so soft and sweet and I will never forget when she met our youngest, how much he took her back to when Joel was that little tender age and would spend lots of time at her house.

I may not have known her as long but when you are the 'outlaw' coming into a family, you remember when you are accepted and loved just like those related by blood. She was the very best at that. I remember Joel introducing me to her when we were just dating and thinking 'Gosh is she the cutest Grandma ever?" She loved Joel so much and when he was little, she'd always call him 'lovebug' because of how much he loved on her.

Whenever I catch myself calling my boys that name, I will most definitely smile and think of her and how she is no longer in pain but delighting in the peace of God.

crop bistro & bar

2011-12-01T13:07:00.000-08:00

Joel works in Ohio City and has for over 4 years now...

I remember meeting him down there for lunch from our home in the burbs and it was somewhat tricky on where to eat and we'd often just eat at the same spot over and over....especially because a ton of our favorites down there are only open for dinner or late into the evening.
~~ahem....Bar Cento.....hint hint....~~

When Crop Bistro & Bar started their renovation of the former United Bank Building, which sat vacant for so terribly long....I remember thinking, 'Geesh, they are going to utilize this entire space?"

OMG.

This space is not only so beautifully restored and gorgeous but the food is just so wonderful and reasonably priced. We ate lunch there today and enjoyed such a delicious meal & in addition to that we were given dessert on the house: Salted Caramel Affogato - might just be the dessert I'd select if it were my last night on earth...to.die.for.

I think the space is something you will spend hours talking about and then you will STOP talking once your food arrives....

what a little coat of paint can do.....

2011-11-29T04:19:00.000-08:00

BIG props go out to my husband who painted his entire vacation over Thanskgiving to make the first floor of our home even more lovely. We went from browns/reds/beige to a very cool, clean & bright shade of gray. I can't describe in words how much I am enjoying the change and the clean lines....

What do you think?

our home

2011-11-28T04:37:00.000-08:00

Every time the seasons change, Joel and I get the itch to change something....

When spring rolled around we installed a new backyard fence and can I just say something that will sound very dramatic?

That fence changed our lives.

Seriously, gone are the days of me panic-stricken thinking that Lee will wind up getting hit by a car. Not only is he SUCH a good listener these days and doesn't even run out in the street but that fence gives us added confidence.

Once Autumn came, our focus was on our trip and then when we got home, we had to discuss the fact that our boys would need to become roomies since a new sibling was on the way. We have drawn up a plan for their room and gosh, I can't WAIT to see that become a reality.

This last weekend, however, was all about our first floor - dramatic change from warm tones, reds & brown to cool grey & crisp white with shiny hardwood furniture & floors. Think of a happy version of Restoration Hardware....yes oh yes.

Not only are we in LOVE with this grey tone but it's making our accessories that were 'ho hum' suddenly feel like new. My husband is a rockstar because not only is he a fantastically successful & BUSY designer but he gave up his long Thanksgiving Day weekend to paint, trim, re-tile our hearth, & paint some more.

Here are some before's.....once we finish up the trim, wash our floors & put art back up on the walls, I'll post the afters!

so so thankful

2011-11-25T19:14:00.000-08:00

What a lovely weekend full of family time, rest, and lots of turkey! ;-)

We avoided the crazy shopping & kept it simple. Joel painted our first floor and I can't believe the difference it makes in our home. I feel like we added square footage we didn't know we could have.

Hope you are continuing to be thankful for all you have as the life of gratitude is truly a life full of joy...

xoxo,

Jess

photos courtesy of my cousin, Michele. ;-)

our 'little' (ok HUGE) news...

2011-11-24T05:39:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving.

For some, they take a day to give thanks.

I feel as though for the last few months, I've been in a cloud of gratitude for what I've been given.

Joel and I went to Ireland just 2 short months ago. We seriously connected in ways we hadn't ever. We explored, we laughed, we experienced food & culture and we solidified decisions for our future.

Little did we know how the future would change.

The final evening we spent in Dublin, we chose a small Asian restaurant that was quiet and unassuming. We gave each other our favorite moments spent in the glorious country and we just grinned at how blessed we felt to experience such beauty.

With our feet tired and our alarms set very early in the morning for flights back to the US, we decided to catch a movie and call it an early night.

With 20 minutes to spare before the movie started, I left Joel munching on popcorn to run to the restroom.

I noticed a pharmacy right nextdoor to the movie theater. I decided to run in there and a grab a little pregnancy test. (All week I was surprised at how late I was....but I was the girl with the 'fertility' problems and only one fallopian tube, right?)

;-)

There I was in the movie theater bathroom...looking at a positive test...opening and closing my eyes to make sure I wasn't seeing something wrong.

"Maybe it's opposite in Europe.... and 2 lines means NOT pregnant"

"Maybe American urine won't work on European tests..."

Yes - I actually thought these things to myself.

I sat through the movie, stunned.

Afterward, Joel and I got back & I decided to tell him about one more 'Dublin moment' I'd never forget....the moment I told him we were pregnant.

Stunned is the only word to use to describe his response....

When a husband walks through a difficult journey of multiple surgeries, fertility testing, a life-threatening ectopic pregnancy & the loss of 2 babies and a fallopian tube....it HAS a major effect on your ability to believe.

I thank God today that my ability to believe has grown far greater than a mustard seed....and my little one inside is about the size of a lime is our proof of that....

Happy Thanksgiving....thanks for reading the story God's writing out for us....

muppets

2011-11-22T05:29:00.000-08:00

So, this muppet movie comes out tomorrow. I can't stop thinking about it. I feel almost silly that I'm as excited as I am about it but I am. I guess it just points to my generation and how lovely the memories I have from those silly characters on TV each Sunday evening....

Truth be told, I have a tiny little wish....a little wish that I'm not sure will ever really come true. But, I kind of want to sing with Kermit. Is that nuts? Am I crazy?

I just want to be standing next to him (pretend I'm Debbie Harry) & Kermit is there with his banjo....

Here you go cuties, hope this makes your Tuesday all smiley....

these 2 little men

2011-11-21T06:01:00.000-08:00

I'm gearing up for a beautiful Thanksgiving - with my extended family and my little family.

I am a tad excited to just enjoy and not host this year. I love to entertain but this year we are simply going to relax, get some house projects completed & cut/decorate our tree.

This weekend was really eye-opening as my sons are starting to develop a certain language in which they speak to one another. I'm watching their eyes light up at the same things...their giggles are contagious & they are finally able to wrestle without me being all "Be careful with the baby!"

We are also planning to surprise Jude with a night out (with just his parents and no little bro) to go and see the new Muppet movie. Not sure who is more excited....Joel or I!

Enjoy your short week - a fun new announcement from Jude & Lebe coming Thanksgiving weekend....be sure to check back!

gift tags

2011-11-17T04:20:00.000-08:00

The holidays are approaching and since I am not hosting Thanksgiving this year, I am massively excited about planning out thoughtful gifts that are both affordable and help my LOCAL economy.
I am in a happy & content place this holidays season....but moreso look forward to giving as it's really better than receiving.

My darling husband is helping me design a personalized stamp for gift tags but thought these tags featured on Made by Joel are so darling! Free template so print 'em out!

Lasagna, My Lasagna

2011-11-16T04:40:00.000-08:00

I am looking for a Lasagna recipe that is PHENOMENAL. I want to have one I make that tells stories. I thought of trying to master a vegan type but am open to suggestions...this one sounds pretty delish....

2 tsp. olive oil
2 medium onions, chopped (2 cups)
3 cloves garlic, minced (1 Tbs.)
10-oz. bag fresh baby spinach
2 12-oz. pkgs. firm tofu, drained
1 8-oz. pkg. vegan cream cheese
1/2 cup chopped fresh basil
1/4 cup nutritional yeast

LASAGNA

5 1/2 cups marinara sauce
12 uncooked whole-wheat lasagna noodles
12 oz. vegan Italian sausage links, cut into thin rounds, or soy sausage crumbles, broken apart
1 cup shredded mozzarella flavor rice or soy cheese (3 oz.)

Want to try it?

Heat oven to 375 degrees.

Saute onions & garlic, add spinace & wilt. Transfer to processer & add tofu, cream cheese, basil & nutritional yeast until smooth & thick. Season with salt/pepper.

Start layering with red sauce, noodles, filling & finish with remaining sauce/shredded cheese on top.

Cover/bake for 30 minutes until bubbling hot.

tree skirt lust

2011-11-08T04:00:00.000-08:00

If there is one thing Joel & I argue over is the lack of creativity in the tree skirts out there - can you tell I'm massively excited about the holidays?

I am taking the time well before we venture out to cut down the Miller family Christmas tree so the skirt we've always dreamed about is ready when we are. Here are some of my favorites....

this little lovely makes me swoon

i love how this one comes with edges unfinished to give a shabby chic look over time..

I love how pretty & polished this one is....not sure about green on green...

and this one quenches a thirst I have for burlap...

what do YOU think?

after years of runny eye liner....

2011-11-07T04:49:00.000-08:00

It's such a treat to live in a world where the perfect liner exists and that will stay put, stay dark & full of pigment & last FOREVER.

I remember wiping liner from the bottom and corners of my eyes after Zumba & all the sweating I would do.

I tested out Bobbi Brown's Gel Eyeliner in Black Ink & not even a smudge of it went anywhere on my face.

HOORAY!

Happy Birthday Leland Ryan...

2011-11-02T04:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Leland,

Today is your day. I'm not sure you get it.

You are 2, little love.

This is a phenomenal surprise as it literally feels only moments ago I stared you in the face when we met. I will never forget the first words I spoke to you: I prayed for you for so long.

I did.

So many did.

Here you are, the perfect combination of rough & tumble, lover & snuggler, sass & wit. We have been your biggest fans since day 1. You carry with you such a loving smile & tender heart. We are so proud of you & how great a little brother you are. One day, we hope to call you a big brother.

In all that you may encounter in birthdays to come, know you are backed & whole-heartedly loved by a family that believes in you, your creativity & your dreams. Nothing is too big or too grande. If you can imagine it, go after it.

For now, I'll take all the snuggles you give & tickle you until you can barely stand it. Your laughter makes life beautiful & your kisses are sweet as honey.

Happy Birthday to my Leland....

Love,

Mommy

Before you go to sleep,
Say a little prayer,
Every day in every way,
It's getting better and better,

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,

Out on the ocean sailing away,
I can hardly wait,
To see you to come of age,
But I guess we'll both,
Just have to be patient,
Yes it's a long way to go,
But in the meantime,

Before you cross the street,
Take my hand,
Life is just what happens to you,
While your busy making other plans,

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,

ultimate comfort in a crock pot

2011-10-28T10:58:00.000-07:00

So, I only make a few things in my crockpot.

Every time I do, I wonder why I don't choose to make MORE things in there.

This recipe I want to share today is our quintessential recipe for Macaroni & Cheese. It's texture is SUPER rich, very creamy & feeds a TON!

This recipe is NOT vegan for those of you who got excited about finally finding a vegan alternative....sorry 'bout that.

My boys rave & quietly devour this when made. In fact, it's the perfect football-eating food on a rainy day.

Most of the ingredients you probably ALREADY have - even better!

3c macaroni noodles, cooked al dente
3+ cups of cheese (the more, the cheesier obviously)
1 can evaporated milk
garlic (as much as you enjoy) I use 2 cloves minimum.
1 stick of butter, melted
1 egg
salt/pepper to taste

Step 1: Spray down the crock pot with PAM to avoid a messy cleanup

Step 2: Cook your Macaroni and pour into sprayed crock pot

Step 3: Add remaining ingredients, mix well

Step 4: Cook 2.5 to 3 hours on low and DO NOT STIR.

After the time is up, you will have creamy mac'n'cheese in the middle with some texture along the rim that is DELISH!

i know this is way PREMATURE

2011-10-27T05:09:00.000-07:00

But I'm already kinda getting into the Christmas spirit....

It's like we had Lee's party, are back from Ireland, Halloween will be done & over with in a day or two - so I'm just ready.

While I love to decorate my home, I especially get thrilled with gift wrapping ideas & package design. Here is some of my inspiration thus far...stop reading unless you are prepared to get all Christmasy like me....If you are up for it, grab a gingerbread man cookie and lets lust over this packaging!

this lovely ladybug idea is so fun & playful - courtesy of fancyroad.com

and sometimes I like to pretend I own my own bakery and all I want to do is wrap up baked goods in polka-dot boxes and tie with a string....

and then the idea of Kraft paper, tulle & a sweet ornament make me melt.

The packaging is one thing but what I really must decide is what my 'handmade' gift to the women in my life shall be....chocolate? delicate baked goods? handmade cards? I guess you will have to wait and see!

it's getting serious: 1st Grade

2011-10-25T13:01:00.000-07:00

I totally remember 1st grade.

My teacher was super pretty. Wore a tad too much mascara but couldn't really blame her.

I remember loving to be in front of the class reading aloud (thinking I was this super duper fast reader) when I was just at a normal level.

I also remember getting into 'real' learning. It set Kindergarten apart in a big way when we started adding large numbers - numbers that were higher than our fingers could count up to.

I am watching this 6 yr old boy's 1st grade experience and I could NOT be happier. His teacher is so friendly yet so 'down to business' when it comes to math & reading. My son is falling in love with books and I just couldn't be happier.

The new thing at school is counting by 2's, 5's, 10's, 100's & so on.

So, with all the leftover candy corn from Leland's birthday party, we are making a game of it.

Everyday after school, Jude is allowed to have a small amount of candy corn if he counts them correctly. If he doesn't count them, Mommy gets them! He hasn't messed up once.

as if we didn't have enough going on...

2011-10-24T14:54:00.000-07:00

This week turned into a monster that I feel I completely built myself.

I am the one who said 'Yes' to each item
I am also big on getting it done, even to my own hurt.

Usually, I regret being away & doing too much.

'Cept, it was all really fun stuff.

A video shoot at my hubby's design firm that was just plain old fun & allowed me to meet some really wonderful Clevelanders...my first training with Bobbi Brown which left me fantastically in love with the products...and then doing tons & tons of makeup SELLING the BB product. Oh and yeah, we threw a little birthday party for my baby! Ok....he's turning 2 so maybe he's a boy. Nope. he's still my baby.

All in all, I have to say that while the pace was not something I could EVER do consistently, I am really glad I did it all. I feel really blessed to be in the place & moment I'm in. It's why I write. It's so I don't forget.

The other little tid bit of this last week was falling in love with Bobbi's new Marrakesh Fall 2011 line of color. I'm a pigment lover and these shadows & lip colors DELIVERED 100%. They're formulated with a wax that makes them perfect for smudging, using on lid/crease or even liners....

first things first

2011-10-17T04:46:00.000-07:00

It's one of those rare mornings where I'm up early and Leland isn't yet. I want to go back to sleep yet I know what a week I have coming at me.

There are 4 different worlds that seem to exist: a 'work' world, a 'family' world, a 'makeup artist' world, & a 'marriage world'.

I feel it coming - the craziness of a week where all 4 worlds will spin and I'll feel out of control. Taking the quiet of this Monday morning to organize my thoughts & my mind so that I can just deal with one at a time.

Thankful the husband finished up 2 major projects at work last week and will be my partner again this week. I really do not know where I'd be without his love & care.

Hope you get a moment to organize all the worlds you've got balanced....and still enjoy all the blessings life has to offer.

Meanwhile....check out my little lovely scarf I got last weekend & cannot stop wearing....in burnt orange, it's just the perfect way to stay cozy and warm.

Happy Monday!

the 'now'

2011-10-12T10:58:00.000-07:00

As with all human kind, we tend to look ahead or we dwell in the past but rarely take time to realize the place we currently stand is so very beautiful.

Not always. I mean the hard stuff becomes beautiful but it's still hard.

I had a moment this morning where I smiled at my little world. We're happy, content, & provided for. We have a safety of friendships that enclose us and help us feel cared for. We have little 'want' for much. Just life and people to share it with.

Amazing when you re-enter life after being away - the way I look at my boys is different. I get up a little bit earlier just so I can lay down with Jude before I wake him up for school. I'm not quite as focused on getting that laundry running first thing but instead I let Leland snuggle for just about as long as he'd like.

Things are undone. The checklist hasn't been nearly half-way checked. That is OK.

I am thrilled for the journey I'm on with these men of mine & a future that is bright and open. Who knows where we'll end up or who we'll meet along the way....

I was inspired when I saw this on etsy today which complimented my current state rather perfectly.

fallon & byrne

2011-10-07T09:39:00.000-07:00

I absolutely fell in love with this place in downtown Dublin. It's 'under the radar' location makes it a surprising welcome once you see the size of this market.

We perused the organic meats, cheeses, nuts, chocolate & skin care products. If you go upstairs, you can enjoy fine dining & if you go downstairs, you can enjoy tapas & a wall-sized wine cellar. This little gem is a great place to stock up on treats for your hotel room (precisely what WE did).

our shenanigans in Ireland

2011-10-05T11:59:00.000-07:00

There is no way to tell each and every story of this trip.

I'd either bore you silly or neglect my children so I'm boiling it down to a cheesy little top ten. I feel like it will forever help me remember the beautiful trip this was and will adequately describe how we spent our time in this glorious country.

Starting with #10 The beautiful Liffey River
This river cuts the city of Dublin in half and invites joggers, walkers, and shoppers to explore. The bridges that cross over her are so different. Some are lit. Some are architecturally bizarre but I just loved crossing over this river every time.

#9 Jameson Distillery & Guinness Storehouse.
I simply had no idea how much went into making these highly coveted liquids. Joel & I used a rainy Dublin day for this part of our trip...it was perfect.

#8 Seeing 'Donka a Letter to Chekov' at the Dublin Theater Festival all dressed up with my love. SO loved the Gaiety Theatre in downtown Dublin.

#7 Shopping the infamous Grafton Street...even in the pouring rain, I could have perused for hours...

#6 Arriving in Dublin on the warmest day of their ENTIRE YEAR and exploring Trinity College & seeing the majestic Book of Kells. Will never forget this day.

#5 St. Patrick's Cathedral. Standing before such history was truly remarkable.

#4 Climbing the Burren mountains with Joel & seeing the countryside I've been imagining for months and months.

#3 Eating at this quaint little scone house - Queen of Tarts. This award winning breakfast & lunch spot stole my heart & made me want to open a CLE branch...

#2 The almighty Cliffs of Moher. There are no words.

#1 - Of course was having an adventure with my best friend & love, Joel. There was SO much more that he and I were able to see, hear, do & experience....I am just so proud to have been at his side. Abroad & always.

Fáilte Lillibette (hooray!)

2011-09-26T05:14:00.000-07:00

178 days ago we booked a trip.

A trip to the Emerald Isle.

After 'talking' about finally getting away together, we put our money where our mouths were and did it. We leave tomorrow & I am thrilled that our days prior to departure have been nothing but fun with our boys.

It will be the longest we've been away from Leland. That is hard. He's really into me right now. It would be easier if he were a Daddy's boy but he's all mine.

Our weekend was low - key. Our love was rich. Our laughter was loud. I am so grateful for what I have....and I know I will feel exponentially more on each of these emotions once we're on the plane home. Once we've had a chance to really explore how good these gifts from God are.

We ate apples.
We made pie & homemade cinnamon whipped cream.
We shared life with friends.
We watched movies.
We went for walks.
We got hair trims.
We got new duds.

We were together one more time.

Farewell friends - check back for crazy Irish eye candy when we return....

can you guess?

2011-09-23T07:11:00.000-07:00

what my inspiration for Leland's 2nd Birthday is??? Am taking DIY suggestions for fun ideas on how to decorate/bake for this little shin dig....

2011-09-22T05:06:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning to several inbox notes from readers asking a similar question since yesterday's guest post over at Sparkle Power! The question was:

How do you maintain a vegan lifestyle when your children/husband do not?

This very question kept me from giving it a GO for months. Honestly, it wasn't until I was keeled over in pain from endometriosis for days on end. Enough was enough.

I guess my 'secret' is not cooking entirely different meals, just altering them slightly.
I also stick to vegan shortening, bread & dough(s) no matter what.

Here is a sample menu from this week:

Breakfast
Joel: Cracklin Oat Bran w/Milk
Me: Cracklin Oat Bran w/Almond Milk
Boys: Whole grain waffles w/syrup
(we are obsessed with Cracklin Oat Bran btw.OBSESSED)

Snacks
Honeycrisp apple

Lunch
Joel: Sandwich or go out to eat in OHC
Me: Veggie wrap & Pita chips w/ hummus
Boys: Turkey wrap

Snack
Pretzels/Almonds

Dinner
Joel: Chicken on the Grill, grilled asparagus, roasted potatoes
Me: Black Bean burger on the grill, grilled asparagus, roasted potatoes
Boys: Chicken, asparagus, potatoes

As you can see, we are eating similar meals. The change is easy once you look at it like this. It's also helped that all 3 of my men have started to love some vegan meals I've made and that is even better.

A few other favorites of ours is cooking pasta with any and all veggies we can find in the fridge, adding fresh herbs from the garden & cayenne for heat & massive amount of garlic. Simple easy & comforting.

Vegan pizza is super easy & satisfying - I just am sure to include savory toppings (i.e. olives, artichokes, peppers, etc) to give me the salty taste since there is no cheese.

Hoping this is helpful to some of you considering the change. I will tell you aside from the obvious health improvement, I have lost 12lbs, have an amazing amount of energy & everything in my body just 'works' right.

To those of you on the fence, give it a go for 21 days! That is how long it took me to really feel a difference. Good Luck!

one on one

2011-09-20T18:40:00.000-07:00

I remember when it was just Jude and I.

My firstborn giggly, smoosh-faced, blue-eyed, ice-cream-loving only child.

With the addition of Leland these last 2 years, I have seen love flourish between two souls in a way I didn't imagine. When 'Ju Ju' leaves for school, Leland cares. When he comes home, he runs back and forth, jumps ridiculously around the house & gets a big bear hug when they meet. Time with the miller boy duo is nothing short of hilarious.

I will say, however:

One-on-one time with my first born doesn't happen enough.

With all the crazy running we do in this life, it's simply difficult to make that time.

Last week I did. I am really glad I did.

It was a simple 30 minute trip to Menchies. Disclaimer: I really cannot stand this new fro-go place. It's always crowded and I feel rushed into a sorbet selection. I will say I tried the pumpkin fro-go and OMG.SO.FAB The reason we went there is because my 6 year old is obsessed.
So there.

We sat down, gave one another a little taste of our custom fro-go/sorbet & basked in a few moments toddler-less. I asked Jude a few questions - the rest went something like this:

ME: So, bud, I feel like we haven't spent much time just you and me....I am sad about that.

JUDE: Me too. (yogurt slurping)

ME: I am going to try and be better at that. Today I want you to know this is something special for just the two of us so if there is anything you want to talk about....now is a great time.

JUDE: Well...(LONG PAUSE & continued yogurt slurpin)...sometimes I miss it when it was just me & you, Mommy. I love Leland but I just miss it sometimes.

ME: I know, baby. Me too.

JUDE: I sometimes miss you.

ME: (trying not to cry) I miss you too, lovebug. It's hard when you are gone at school all day - I sometimes just wish you were home with me.

JUDE: Me too. oh....Mommy!

ME: Yeah?

JUDE: I think when I am a grownup & have a son...I'm going to take them to Menchies too.

ME: I think your son would love it.

JUDE: I also think that his Mom can go to work to make all the money for us & we can just play video games all day.

ME: (laughter) Perhaps she will...

Moral of this blog post:

STOP DOING WHAT ISN'T URGENT & GO HANG OUT WITH THOSE COOL MINI HUMANS MORE...life is too short.

'til death

2011-09-19T10:56:00.002-07:00

It's obvious when an anniversary rolls around that you will think of how far you've come as a couple but this past weekend my vows took on new meaning. We decided to make an impromptu trip to visit Joel's grandfather. Grandpa Jack has been undergoing multiple seizures, possible heart attack & has been responding unfavorably to medication. It's been a roller coaster of text messages with every other text looking grim...

We knew it was the time to go & visit as our trip to Ireland was coming close and perhaps this would be our only time.

I am so glad we did. I mean, sure, it was awesome to see Grandpa Jack & see him on a 'good' day where we were pleasantly surprised to hear him speak, crack an inappropriate joke or two & flirt & flirt & flirt. This old man reminded us a bit of the Grandpa Jack we've always known & loved.

What made me squeeze my Joel a little tighter, however, was watching Grandma Carla care for this man she loved. I don't know that I'll ever forget seeing her sweet hands hold onto his or how she so lovingly put chapstick on his drying lips & then stoop down for a kiss. I listened to her speak of her hope & prayers & bible readings that had given her an arm to lean on during this time. While she was scared of losing him, she stood strong & quite literally stood beside him. Faithful. Faithful. Faithful.

On our car ride home, I will always remember exhaling deeply & holding Joel's hand - knowing the man who sat next to me would do the same for me and I for him.

'til death

2011-09-19T10:56:00.000-07:00

On our car ride home, I will always remember exhaling deeply & holding Joel's hand - knowing the man who sat next to me would do the same for me and I for him.

little helper

2011-09-14T05:30:00.000-07:00

My sweet Leland is growing up.

His little babbles are turning into sentences - see if you can translate what he is ACTUALLY saying into what he REALLY means:

"I wanna go oside"
"I want elmo"
"I want fishie cackers"
"tank u mama'
"wuv u mama"
"bye bye Ju Ju"
"oh no wheredhego?"
"pidaman" (spiderman)

I am enjoying conversation with this child & he is definitely more comfortable in his own skin knowing he can pretty much tell me what he wants.

Last night, I felt bad. He loves to help me unload the dishwasher. He is still kind of obsessed with the dishwasher. Not sure if I need to plan on him having a career in appliances but either way....he wanted to help.

EXCEPT his helping turned into 2 broken dishes.

Without even realizing I said this, sternly, tonight after dish #2 was shattered, 'No Leland, No break dishes! That was naughty!"

In that moment I forgot it was just an accident. He was just trying to help me. He was just trying to make me look into his eyes and tell him "Good job!" and to earn a little harmless applause.

Instead, he heard me use the word he hates most: NAUGHTY and his eyes welled up with watermelon tears, his little veins started to pop out & he ran into the other room to cry. I followed him to let him know I wasn't mad & we hugged it out.

Trying to be extra patient with my little helper these days....his little heart is still so full of innocence & goodwill.

*deep breath*

Squeezing him extra tight today...I think he forgives me.

the gentlemen project

2011-09-12T04:36:00.000-07:00

I have to say the longer I'm a parent, the more I'm realizing how much I'm really influencing the future wives of these boys.

Every skill they will take with them into work//marriage//parenting will derive from the way we did things in our home. Sometimes I wonder if I'm screwing my kids up - I probably am a little.

I think one area that we are being successful in is in the area of training up gentlemen. Joel is so phenomenal at this & our boys take notice. It's almost always like on-the-job training when you have a ratio of 3 men to 1 woman in the house. Doors are being opened for me, I am getting the chance to relax after a long day, and occasionally I will hear explanation about 'why it's important to put the toilet seat down.' I just am so grateful for a husband who gets this and shows our sons its importance.

If there is one thing I hope my sons carry on into adulthood is that when looking for a someone to share life with....that they search for a wife...not a Mom. I know I will always think my boys are the greatest ever...but they really ARE going to make fantastic little husbands & dads one day.

LADIES....GET IN LINE.....in about 35 years, that is.....

sweetest sounds

2011-09-07T04:28:00.000-07:00

Those sounds to me are the ones of crazy laughter + joyful screams + silly giggles + Joel occasionally getting kicked in an inappropriate area...

I love what a great boy-Dad my husband is....

See for yourself.

*no boys were injured in the taking of these photos*

labor day

2011-09-06T06:06:00.000-07:00

Joel & I took a few moments to reflect over the weekend. A LONG weekend filled with downtime, work, but mostly downtime.

I had the opportunity to tag team with my favorite makeup artist mentor on a big Indian wedding in the CLE market. It was honestly a ton of fun getting to know this family. A memory I appreciate about it will be while getting ready for the reception....the Mother of Groom sat in my chair to get her makeup done. She was tired and ready for some much-deserved sleep. Her sister walked in the room talking about how ill-fitting her reception garments were. Once she unraveled the fabric, it turned out to be twice as long and really no way she could wear it without practically duct taping it around her waist over and over. I loved watching these sisters laugh & laugh - the kind of laughter you have when you've barely slept and just about anything is funny. I couldn't even do her makeup for a solid 5 minutes - and I loved how in every country, in any language, laughter is such sweet medicine.

Joel overdid the romance this weekend, friends....surprised me with a couples massage at Dragonfly Massage in their new location in Chagrin Falls followed by a beautiful dinner at Jekyll's Kitchen. I might have to say that the addition of a massage to 'date night' really causes you to relax, sleep better & feel closer.

I hope you all got some time in with some family this weekend....Short work week....let's make it count.

capture life

2011-09-02T05:07:00.000-07:00

With life moving so fast these days, I am ever more motivated to get out with my camera so I don't forget. Heck, that is the whole point of this blog: Writing it all down so I can look back.

I love that feeling of clicking on a month a year or two back and remembering what trials & triumphs we faced back then. Usually they are different than what we are facing in the present.

As a makeup artist, I've been surrounded by a lot of photographers. I am amazed at how they work & how they view their subjects. I always love remembering a day watching a photog shoot and then later seeing what they were composing in that very moment.

I have to say one of my favorite photogs is my awesome sis inlaw, Kim. Her company has been exploding the Kalamazoo market over the last several years and I just love when success reaches those who diligently work in their art.

Take a look at her work....and check her out on facebook! (She gives away a free download every Friday!)

rewind

2011-08-31T04:51:00.000-07:00

I'm noticing lots of memories flooding back to me.

Thankful for them.

Leland is entering a season I so vividly remember with Jude at this same stage. The constant blabber with moments of understood english, the sweet snuggling while watching Thomas the Tank Engine & ELMO, and the development of a personality that is unafraid of anything.

I took Leland to a beautiful area outside of the city this morning. We enjoyed fruit, juice & a latte. We climbed a playground. We swung on swings.

Most importantly, I remembered my 6 yr old at this age. It is not hard with his little brother wearing his clothes & looking so similar. I remembered Jude's sweet voice at this age & savored Leland's little voice. I took it as an opportunity to sort of rewind time for a moment.

I guess I didn't expect this to happen when we found out at our 20 wk ultrasound that another boy was on the way. While there was slight little part of me that had hoped for a daughter, I had no idea how much I'd love this moment & this chance to see a piece of my little Jude again.

Life got too busy when Jude was at this stage. Joel and I were both working too much & Jude was barely with us week to week...instead he was with babysitters a LOT. While we quit that pace before he turned 3, I regret missing that time with him.

I am grateful for more downtime now with Leland than I had back then with Jude. It's redemptive & refreshing. Maybe I'll take ONE MORE BOY just so I can have this again....

a conversation documented

2011-08-30T04:37:00.000-07:00

Jude began 1st grade.

So natural. So ready.

I already adore his teacher who is reminding me of Laura Ingalls Wilder a bit....so kind & soft in her tone yet really high-energy.

I'm trying to get used to the early wake ups & eating breakfast WAY earlier than we normally do. This little convo took place over a bowl of oatmeal flakes....it just makes me smile.

Jude: Mommy, what are you doing?

Me: Trying on these pants to see if they fit. I'm trying to lose the last few pounds of baby weight.

Jude: Why?

Me: Because it doesn't look good on me. It looks better on babies.

Jude: Mommy, you know what we need around here?

Me: What?

Jude: Another baby....you need to give us one more.

Me: Really? Why do you say that?

Jude: I just want a different kind this time. A more different one than Leland.

Me: What kind do you want???

Jude: A sister....and lets call her "Ashla"

#Ilovethiskidsomuch

the vegan situation

2011-08-23T05:41:00.000-07:00

So, it's been 6 months since the vegan situation began.

What started out as a 90 day challenge to see if my endometriosis symptoms would improve has turned into a lifestyle change.

Here is what I love about the change:

Cholesterol intake is dramatically lower
Weight loss has been immediate & consistent
Energy levels are up higher than ever
Love affair with vegetables
Metabolism has sped up

I actually researched this today out of the book, Everything Vegan

One of their points was that upon eating a vegan meal, you will actually burn calories FASTER resulting is less stored fat....couple THAT info with the fact that you are eating WAY less fat and it's obvious the result. (see next sentence for more scientific sounding proof)

Dr. Neal Barnard, M.D. of the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine (PCRM) states, "There is evidence that a vegan diet causes an increased calorie burn after meals, meaning plant-based foods are being used more efficiently as fuel for the body, as opposed to being stored as fat."

I didn't even read this part until now but it makes a ton of sense.

I am also experimenting with nut-based cheeses, tofu, tempeh & more. I might live with 3 meat-loving men....but this girl is loving her lifestyle & that she is fighting a nasty disease with diet & not meds. #thebestpart

Quick vegan, gluten free recipe for quick no-bake cookies:

1c sugar
1c brown sugar
1/3c vegetable shortening
1/3c almond milk
1tsp vanilla
1/3c peanut butter
1 1/2c quick cooking oats

heat the sugars/shortening/milk until a rapid boil
remove from heat and add peanut butter til melted
add the vanilla
quickly add the oats & moisten.
working fast - start spooning out circles onto wax paper
allow to set

DELISH with a capital D!

hello lover

2011-08-22T10:44:00.000-07:00

You know what I love?

I love walking into a store just passing the time on a lazy Sunday afternoon and finding something that I've been HUNTING down for nearly 6 months.

H&M you are sometimes so positively boring with little that inspires me and at other times, you are the very answer!

Another little thing I love is popping into a boutique you just happened to be parked near....and finding a lovely little emerald green bag to take to Ireland....you know because it's green & lovely.

35 days folks. 35 days.

PS - have i mentioned how positively horrific and carrot-like I look in my passport photo? ah.....

a room

2011-08-19T05:37:00.000-07:00

Joel and I had made a somewhat impulsive trip to IKEA last weekend.

We decided that it was time to replace our creaking bed & worn dresser with broken drawers with a fresh new modern set.

Our room, already painted in mustard with white molding & trim, isn't huge.

Ideally, we needed furniture that would be slim, sleek & help give us space. The Hemnes line from IKEA was the ticket.

We purchased art work for 2 of the walls - one wall, however, remains bare & in need of something.

I woke up this morning thinking - I KNOW! - A map. A map of Dublin brought home in our luggage and framed for over our bed. To remind us of a trip we took together that we 'needed' - yes I am speaking as if we've already gone. The thing is I know that this trip was sorta 'meant to be'.

After a Top Thrill Dragster kind of decade together....filled with lots of things, I can honestly say this is the first year we haven't held each other through pretty major tragedy. I feel no guilt in wanting to remember how great 2011 has been....especially on this trip with my love.

so close

2011-08-18T08:46:00.000-07:00

Well, we're 40 days out from the big trip to Ireland.

I've been ALL OVER THE PLACE lately. I feel like I'm juggling so many things and occasionally I'm dropping the ball on major & minor items.

I would love for someone to show me how they juggle 2 part time jobs, kids, household, cooking for 2 different diets, grocery shopping, laundry, actually spending time those kids, oh and yeah, and keeping up a beautiful marriage.....you know, without resorting to being a Mom on Meth.

I am also feeling like a loser friend these days - cancelling playdates & such due to working or whatnot. It's just tough. If I could get paid to be a stellar friend, that'd be what I'd pick!

the one area I feel like I'm NOT losing out in is in the area of exercise. Honestly, this is the LONGEST time (not including highschool sports of course) where I've maintained a 4x/week exercise routine. It's TRULY just a part of my life and I find myself freaking out a little when I forget to sneak in a workout.

I'm 11lbs away, guys. eleven pounds away from my lowest all time adult weight (pre kids OF COURSE) and I'm hoping to get there by the time I step foot on Irish soil.

Here we go....so so close!

BTW-HUGE Shout out to all of you who have been cheering me on, offering authentic compliments, and to my husband who always makes me feel like a super model.

image cred

all good things come to an end

2011-08-16T08:28:00.000-07:00

It's the last full week of Jude being home.

1st grade seems a little bit scary to my boy. I have no worry in my bones that he'll be just fine. I just know it.

My heart is more sad for the little brother who will have no one but Mommy to chase about...

Read this today and thought it suited the melancholy mood I'm in....

Nature's first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
— Robert Frost

Thankful for such a lovely summer with my boys....and looking ahead to what this school year will hold for my Jude.

avoca

2011-08-11T08:46:00.000-07:00

a recent bridal trial quickly went from normal makeup practice....to Ireland personal trip-planning.

This bride, who shall remain nameless....knows a thing or two about Ireland.

When asked the question of 'What are the must-see places?"

This place intrigued me most.

With an average temp of 60 degrees during the time we'll be there, this might be the perfect place to pick up a new scarf....

90 seconds

2011-08-04T11:03:00.000-07:00

in an antique store in beautiful Lakewood, Ohio....was all it took to find this little lovely.

I wonder who all has held it. I wonder how long ago it was made.

All I know now is it's mine...and I'm excited to place in my home and gently carry along with me for beautiful brides to use as they see their makeup for the first time on their wedding day.

Isn't it magical?

a convo with Jude

2011-08-02T04:42:00.000-07:00

I recently sat down with Jude a few weeks back to discuss how great it is for our bodies when we fill up with vegetables instead of sugary sweets.

I told him how healthy his muscles would get and that he would continue to get big & tall if he had a balanced diet without too many sweets.

The conversation took a sweet little turn...

JUDE: So, if I eat healthy, I will get bigger?

ME: You sure will. The sweet foods are for special treats.

JUDE: Will I get as big as Daddy?

ME: Absolutely! You will get big muscles like Daddy and will be able to work hard like Daddy does.

JUDE: So does everyone get bigger as they get older?

ME: Yes! From the time you are born, as you eat healthy, you get bigger and bigger.

JUDE: Well, then why are you only getting smaller, Mommy?

ME: *HUGE GRIN*

A gift from Océanne

2011-07-26T03:44:00.000-07:00

I know everyone is sick of hearing about this 30th birthday....just want to share a gift I received that is worth mentioning.

Some of you know that my hubby got a tattoo from me for his birthday last month...I gave him a week to design it, told him the time was coming, & then surprised him with about 90 seconds to emotionally prepare himself for the experience.

His design was simple yet really meaningful - an anchor with a J & L that stood for our sons, Jude & Leland.

Friends of ours for my birthday were inspired by the tattoo - she, a jewelry designer, created something similar to be worn around my neck. I am so in love with it! What do you think?

thirty

2011-07-25T09:22:00.000-07:00

so, I'm 30 now.

I thought it'd hurt way worse.

I thought I'd be all depressed.

I thought I'd consume a whole container of ice cream.

I thought I'd want to lie in bed all day longing for my 20's....

I'm just not.

When I look at what I have (and I mean nothing tangible) I realize I have the most full & rich life a girl could have. I realize I'm walking into (truly) the healthiest time of my life....the most secure time...and am basking in the truth that I am loved. I am a daughter, a mother, a friend, a lover, a sister, a wife, an artist, a chef, a party-planner, an administrator, but most of all I realize today that I am truly loved....which is pretty much the most primitive & basic of all human emotional needs.

I was given a beautiful gift for my birthday - a weekend of downtime - kid-free. Now, on my ACTUAL birthday, we celebrated with my boys....but for 2 nights, we were kid-free and boy oh boy, it was delightful. I slept in....house stayed clean...laundry didn't pile up....baby wipes stayed put....REST.

My husband had tricks up his sleeve all day for me - a refinished touch on my 10-speed bike I used to ride back in the 90's....a bike ride with my love across the Superior/Detroit bridge...down to E. 4th for some lunch at Flannerys...a glorious nap....and then a little mini surprise get-together with some near & dears at Luxe. Shout out to Luxe for having my FAVORITE ALL TIME veggie burger.

The apple doesn't far from the tree.....my son, Jude, had sweet Jewelry for me as my gift...even a necklace with a heart charm & a key since he says 'I have the key to your heart, Mommy." Yes you do, Jude....yes you do.

A great birthday....still grinning.

Happy 30th Birthday!

2011-07-22T11:29:00.000-07:00

I thought I would take this opportunity to guest blog for my amazing wife. Sunday is her 30th birthday. And, though she may feel that her youth is quickly disappearing in the rear view mirror, I have never found her more beautiful & alluring.

Simply put: my wife holds it all together. She juggles caring for our two boys, finances, being a make up artist, having a part-time job, writing a blog and rarely does an evening goes by where I don't come home to an amazing meal. My life would not at all be possible without her as my companion & best friend.

My wife not only holds our family together but I have seen her be a better friend to people than I can ever imagine being. She is gracious, patient and does not think twice about forgiving you when you have hurt her.

When I fell in love with my wife, it was because of her spirit. She is beautiful, caring thoughtful, but her spirit captivated me most of all. Joyous, childish, mischievous, compassionate and hopeful.

So this weekend if you have a moment, send an email, a text, a note to my lovely wife and wish a wonderful 30th birthday!

Thanks,

- joel

Joel Miller

2011-07-19T04:42:00.000-07:00

You know those people who need to find the 'trends' in music, fashion, etc. first? Just, you know, so they could say they did....

I kind of think that can be pretentious.

But then I realized, I did the same thing about 10 years ago....when I watched & discovered the talented artist lying in my then boyfriend. I remember the talks we had about doing 'art school' or not. I remember seeing what interested him and what his teachers said to him about his potential.

Here he is....working at a design firm filled with some of the most talented people alive, (really!)....in fact, you can check out a few blogs that Joel & his buddies, Lee & Mark were featured in.

designworklife
dredgersunion

So proud of this man....and that I discovered him first.

too many peaches? just make guacamole!

2011-07-15T10:05:00.000-07:00

ah - with freshest of fruits available, I have been over buying and having to throw away food - or worse, making PIE! (Not what I need right now)

How much did I love this idea I found while persuing the world wide web....

2 large ripe avocado
1 large peach, diced
1 tbsp jalapeno pepper, minced
2 tbsp red onion, finely diced
1 Tbsp lime juice, fresh is best
1/2c cilantro, chopped
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/4 tsp black pepper

Mash all but the peaches until all flavors incorporate....add peaches and stir well.

enjoy!

vegan bean salad

2011-07-14T06:31:00.000-07:00

So simple
So vegan
So delicious

Garbonzo Beans
Sweet corn
Black Beans
Red onion, chopped
Cilantro
Olive Oil
Salt/Pepper
Crushed Red Pepper

Raw//Spicy//Textured//Savory

little men

2011-07-13T05:13:00.000-07:00

While summer continues to fly on by....I am so sad that I've hardly taken any pictures this summer of my kids.

Just consumed as of late with other things but trying to make the time for it - it's SO important.

Encouraged always by the wonderful little men we're raising. They are teaching us a ton about love, kindness, & life.

Jude is my black & white type A personality.
Leland is the hippie baby.

Jude is obsessed with expressing love to his little brother....perhaps to an annoying fault.
Leland is the kid who will make you work for his affections but never for his smile.

I'm in a world of legos...blue's clues...ELMO...suntan lotion....snuggles with blankies...and I'm really happy to be here.

76

2011-07-12T06:16:00.000-07:00

days until we arrive in downtown dublin.

this will be no 'beachy' getaway. The average temp will be between 55-60 degrees. The country of Ireland is green for one main reason: It rains ALOT!

Grateful that our castle excursion can be made on any day we choose....

All this information also leads me to the conclusion that along with my ID, Passport, & wallet....I need to bring a great - no REALLY great Trench coat.

While I do not plan to pay Burberry to make me one....I do love their art of the trench.

the dredgers union

2011-07-11T09:04:00.000-07:00

It has been a rare occasion that I have uttered the phrase...'Honey, want to go shopping downtown?" In fact, I don't remember ever saying that....only hearing my parents say back in the day when Tower City was cool.

Growing up with the idea that downtown was a scary & unsafe place (often times it was)....near that dumb lake which caught on fire doesn't exactly give you that 'I love cleveland' kind of feeling.

As an adult & parent myself, I am pleasantly surprised when I venture downtown only to find kindness in the eyes of strangers....ambassadors keeping our streets safe....restaurants with phenomenal talent...I am pleased to see Cleveland turning into a neighborhood I desire to be a part of.

Last Friday's venture downtown might be one of my favorites yet...we make it downtown at least 3 times a month for dinner or a show...but on Friday, we went shopping.

The Dredger's Union opened a few weeks ago but their grand opening was this last weekend at the ever popular 'Made in the 216' event featuring design from CLE-based artists.

This store is clearly becoming my guilty pleasure. If you are one of those people who shops to medicate pain.......this is the store for you. Apparel for men & women that is not only chic but totally wearable and get this: AFFORDABLE! The housewares featured are seriously drool-worthy and if you are a close friend having a baby....get ready for an awesome gift from me!

My husband & a few of his creative buds teamed up to do the design for this year's event - taking a spin on circus animals and turning them into cute crafters. Way to go Kiddo!

So inspired by co-owner Danielle DeBoe's spirit as she has, along with dozens of other creatives in this city, helped pave the way into turning Cleveland into a city to be proud of again.

chaos

2011-07-07T05:23:00.000-07:00

oh life - you are so crazy busy but I love you.

Joel and I sometimes feel like as soon as the moment our boys go to bed, we must crawl toward the bed to seek comfort & rest from the battles of the day. Our guilty pleasure has been a total & complete obsession with Showtime's Dexter. (currently halfway through season 4)

Amidst the craziness of life, social outings, growing sons, applying makeup on beautiful brides, & keeping the home....we continue to remind one another of the rest we're in for when we board that plane to Dublin, Ireland.

One of the wonderful things I'm looking forward to is this darling little market called Fallon & Byrne. Just a short walk or bike ride from our hotel downtown.....I have a feeling we'll be paying a visit to this little lovely a time or two to grab some essentials.

typography

2011-06-30T05:49:00.000-07:00

ty·pog·ra·phy/tīˈpägrəfē/Noun

1. The art or process of setting and arranging types and printing from them.

Type is pretty major in Joel's field. Design is ever changing & evolving and while I'm not completely the one in our family who is familiar with all things type, I know enough to know that it matters alot.

A few months back, I started to think about a way to give Joel something for Father's Day that wouldn't suck.

I wanted it to be cool without being over the top 'I'm trying to be cool." and I didn't want to just order something that had no relevance to Joel as a dad.

After chatting with one of his colleague at work. I found someone to execute an idea I thought would mean the most to Joel:

Custom Typography from his own son.

Jude was just finishing up Kindergarten and his ability to read & write was getting pretty good. Lee, the designer who was up for the challenge, told me to simply have Jude write his letters a zillion times so he had enough to work with.

Once Lee sent me the ideas he had in motion, I just knew we were onto something....something that would mean a ton to my husband.

It meant more than I realized as I've caught him staring at it...telling stories about it...and there is something I totally didn't think about in this process that I love: This print not only commemorates our son's handwriting at age 5 but is forever a source of pride for Joel toward his son.

What do you think?

BIG thanks to Lee Zelenak for helping to accomplish something I could have never done on my own! Thank you, friend.

lebe

2011-06-27T18:50:00.000-07:00

My little Leland, who we affectionately call "Lebe"....has been a blast already this summer.

His joy for being on center-stage is really coming out. If people are watching, he is performing.

He is saying short sentences like 'What's That?" or "Uh-oh Mama...." amongst hundreds of other words. I can just see he is pleased that he can finally communicate with us & it's so beautiful.

With the wedding season in full swing, I'm gone alot at makeup trials or doing makeup for bridal parties and I'm seeing such a sweet bond between Joel & Leland....they are becoming buds and I can tell when I get back from a long day away....he's getting more & more into hanging with the dudes.

While I'm open to having a third, there is something in me that feels the need to really savor this little age, so sweet & mostly innocent....

L is for Logan

2011-06-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

Picked up the cuties from VBS this afternoon.

I was running a tad late.

Leland was on my hip trying to get down and go play in mulch or eat dirt. I was just trying to stay on track and not be the 'the mom' who consistently makes her kids feel like they are the last to get picked up.

I saw a woman grabbing a bald little cutie pie from his car seat...still sound asleep. He was about Leland's size, just a tad smaller....cute little plaid overalls and sandals. I'm a sucker for sandals on babies.

She said he was tired out from his treatment. In a moment, it all made sense. This little boy was sick.

I was compelled to ask questions but wondered if it would be painful to talk about it...she politely told me his condition is called Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia and has been in treatment for 8 months now.

I couldn't help but notice how many similarities there were to Leland....the size, the cuteness of their little cankles, their hands. Leland stayed on my hip like an angel as I spoke to this woman (Grandma to baby Logan) and in my heart, I whispered thanks to God for the health of my children that I often take for granted.

I asked her if there was a way to help...to help with the costs. She seemed surprised that someone would ask and mentioned that almost nothing is covered by insurance and his parents (with 4 children total) are drowning in bills.

She gave me a little flyer and asked if I knew anyone with a 'service' to donate for an auction they have coming up in July. I knew I needed to blog about this....I don't even know this boy or his family. All I know is that he deserves what Leland has....and he deserves to not be in pain all the time....and he deserves to laugh and play without the extreme fatigue.

His little lips were perfect and it was all I could do not to kiss on him myself. Instead, I thought how beautiful would it be if anyone reading these words would be moved by compassion enough....to do something.

Perhaps you have a service you can donate...or perhaps you simply want to bless this family with a little help. Could you imagine how YOU would feel if some crazy Mom blogger was moved by compassion to DO SOMETHING for your child? Let's love this little Logan....

Here is how.

You know a wise friend of mine once said...."Compassion with no action is merely pity...."

If you would like to donate a service or some kind for their auction, email me at jessica@joelmillerdesign.com and I'll send you the details.

Thanks compassionate friends....hug those children tight...pray for those who are fighting for their right to live...

networking socially

2011-06-22T13:17:00.000-07:00

facebook to me is really interesting.

To many, it gets the word out about their business or organization.
To others, it is about showing the cuteness of their offspring.
To some, it is about staying in contact with a group worth caring about to keep in an online list.

To me, it's just another tool to invest in what I believe is the most important thing: RELATIONSHIPS

Every now and again, I will peruse the site and come across a name of a person I haven't talked with in a while...I'll click on their name & VOILA: They have de-friended me!

It doesn't happen alot....but when it does....well, it wierds me out.

Are they mad at me? Were they just cleaning up their list?

I usually think about it for about a minute...move on with my life....and look ahead to the next relationship.

In the many talks Joel and I have had, this is one of the reasons he is so anti-facebook. The drama associated with deactivated accounts & defriending.

In alot of ways, he is right on. It's like once you get on the ride & buckle up, it's hard to get off.

I mean, I have definitely defriended my share of folks....but always for a reason.

Mine are pretty simple:

1-If you creep me out or try to go to a location that I frequent (Yes, this has happened) You're gone & blocked!

AND

2-If you use loads of obscenities or are hurtful toward others, I just prefer to remove the negativity

This 'little' list of mine got me wondering why others delete people....perhaps I'm naive and I'm allowing my circle to not be as tight as it ought to be. So...I turn the question to you:

Why else should someone be deleted? (aside from creepiness/negativity)

taking a moment...

2011-06-21T10:38:00.000-07:00

to breathe.

Made it through my crazy Saturday just fine.

I was tired but I just so enjoyed each moment. It really is an honor to sit beside a bridal party, hear their laughter, their stories of how long they have known one another...and get to be 'one of the girls' for a bit.

Father's Day was one of the best ever...time with my boys loving their Daddy and time with my own Daddy...just felt uber blessed all day long.

This week is strangely chaotic with tons of running around and a car in the shop (which brings such stress, I find) so I'm taking a moment....a moment to dream. I'm choosing to think & focus on the trip we are planning to Dublin. I'm thinking of the market near our hotel where we'll grab breakfast in the mornings. I'm thinking of the bike rides we'll take along the coast. I'm thinking of the Theater festival that will be starting the night we arrive. I'm thinking of the late nights laughing and ESPECIALLY of us sleeping in....

intense....but loving it

2011-06-17T11:07:00.000-07:00

Many of you know the story of Kajal.

The brand I was lucky enough to stumble upon through my dear friend, Kimberly. I've been amazed as an emerging & developing makeup artist at just how much it takes - so much more than just applying a product to the skin.

It's about creating confidence, identifying the risk each client wants to take, & then making a decision based on the God-given beauty each one has.

It's not rocket science.
It's not surgery.

But....there is really nothing like watching a woman look at herself and truly believe (even if she doesn't say it) that she is beautiful.

Tomorrow is my busiest day ever....12-14 hours straight bouncing between 2 wedding parties that are polar opposite and on separate sides of town. Praying for great weather....seamless traffic as I won't have a moment to spare....and wedding parties as beautiful and wonderful to work with as this one...

all images courtesy of Tom Forrest Photography

introvert

2011-06-16T06:46:00.000-07:00

There simply could not be a more opposite person of me than my husband.

While we have similar tastes in food, décor, music & art...our personalities remain vastly different.

I remember our first times together spent getting to know one another....we met while on a 16-hour bus trip to Colorado to climb the 14,000 ft Pike's Peak. We had about 5 hours to talk and it felt like 5 minutes....just so much to learn about the other.

Last night we celebrated Joel's 31st birthday - for days prior, I would ask him: "Honey, want me to invite some friends over? We could do a guys night....whatever you want for your birthday!"

He responded simply..."No that's ok, let's just let it be us."

The big difference in who we are is marked by how we view time with people. We both value friendships a great deal. However, time with people is like a recharge to my battery whereas time spent alone or in a calm environment is his.

We had a lovely meal...Jude put on an 'Art Show' as the entertainment and then I gave the man what he needed most: Time with his guitar - time without little sticky fingers getting in the way of his strum.

It was just what he wanted....

31 years of...

2011-06-15T05:16:00.000-07:00

photo cred: KMP

life lived to its fullest
brilliant songwriting
elaborate & simple design in a single artist
caring about family before himself
creative expression through music
-through graphic art
-through fine art photography
-through home-remodeling
evolving into a perfectly modern Bob Vila...just way hotter
Being a loving husband
Being an amazing father whose kids "KNOW" they are loved
Faithfulness
Kindness
Honesty

I am so blessed to have shared the last 10 years of his 31 at his side....and to have so many more ahead.

Happy Birthday baby! We love you!

Jess, Jude & Lebe

motto

2011-06-14T05:03:00.000-07:00

With all that could possibly go wrong in the world today, it's easy enough to give into the crabbiness...but then there are those 'sun scattering' persons out there who care enough to smile...love enough to be honest...and truly make the day bright.

I hope to be one of those persons in the lives of my friends. I hope to be the person who cares enough to give a compliment despite my own insecurities. I notice this from time to time....this wierd withholding of kindness as a way to be or appear like the 'cooler' person. It's SO obvious that insecurity marks such an ommission. Love means being 'out loud' about it. Love also is humble enough to realize there will always be someone 'better/prettier/skinnier/richer/artsy-er' etc.

Life will throw us tough stuff. It's our job to either catch it & deal or dodge it and use wisdom the next time it comes our way.

Love this print from Kantan Designs

A person in my life a LONG time ago once told me..."If you still have the strength to sing in the shower, life can't be THAT bad..."

sing away, loves.....

summer top ten

2011-06-13T09:39:00.000-07:00

1. Not being in a hurry. Ever.

2. Reading books just because...

3. Being outdoors MOST of the time.

4. Hearing boys giggle.

5. Watching them learn, grow & share.

6. Chasing & tickling them until the laughter comes from their bellies.

7. Fun with family & traveling & picture-taking

8. Bonfires & crispy marshmallows

9. Snuggling during thunderstorms

10. Enjoying life & never wishing for the next moment to be here...

vegan day 79

2011-06-09T06:17:00.000-07:00

So, my original goal in this quest was try out the vegan lifestyle for a 90 day period.

WHY?

To see if my body would respond to the diet difference and heal itself, decrease or eliminate pain associated with endometriosis & cause overall health & wellness.

I'm 11 days away from the 90 mark and the furthest thing from my mind is going back to meat & dairy.

I am fully embracing the plant-based lifestyle and am amazed at the energy level. It's the most noticeable change I've seen. I feel like I even sleep better.

The most commonly asked question I get is how do you make separate meals for your non-vegan family members? The truth is I don't really...

I just try to think smart. If I know a certain meal will be unappealing to the boys, I'll make my 'part of the meal' first and then add what I know they'll love. For instance last night, I made a typical homemade pizza - kept a bit of the dough for my part of the meal and kept mine without the fresh mozzarella.

If we're grilling out, I give Joel his beloved meat & I have my egg plant or vegan patty ready to throw on the grill too.

What I am finding is the snacks & foods I'm getting for myself are finding their way to the entire family as they discover what I've learned in 79 days and that is this: Vegan living isn't eating bad-tasting food...it's bringing out the richness & flavor in food from the ground!

To those who have emailed me about starting a plant-based diet, do a 90-day challenge & see how you like it. I bet you might just fall in love with veggies, beans & legumes too!

stink eye

2011-06-08T05:41:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we had the pleasure of hosting our bro, sis & nephews/niece...

Josiah, the nephew who was born just a day before Leland decided to show us his new 'trick' - the stink eye!

Anywhere and everywhere we were, he would put on this face and send us rolling...

It just makes me want to kiss his little face and run my fingers through those curls ALL THE MORE!

How in the world does someone so cute & little do something so dramatic? I love you, Josiah!

the 12 minute project

2011-06-07T05:20:00.000-07:00

I must admit I am not the most organized person.

People totally think I am.

I am NOT.

I am forgetful.

Good thing Jude and I had a little talk before he went to bed about the 'costume' he was supposed to wear this morning as the Letter M from the "Letter People" - here is how that conversation went down:

Me: Alright bud, let's get your PJ's on & have some book time...
Jude: Tomorrow is Tuesday right?
Me: Right.
Jude: Yay! I get to come dressed as the Letter M!
Me: Cool bud. Wait, how do you 'come dressed' as the letter M? Were we supposed to get a costume from school?
Jude: No....we were supposed to make one.
Me: Oh...what was it supposed to look like?
Jude: Just like the Letter M
Me: And tell me what the Letter M looks like....
Jude: He is 'munchy' and he has a yellow mouth with blue legs so you need to color my skin, Mommy, ok?

After Jude went to bed...I frantically went to Joel for ideas. I'm not good 'on the fly' like he is.

He came up with a 'Munchy M' Design and printed out something we could sketch over a makeshift ghetto lightbox (i.e. a light inside of a tupperware container with a piece of glass over it)

Here is what we came up with - not bad for a total of 12 minutes of prep....

why do weekends have to end?

2011-06-06T04:09:00.000-07:00

This was by far one of our favorite weekends of 2011.

Jude's outdoor movie night party was FINALLY here after weeks of Jude asking...

Kim & Ryan (Our bro & sis) & kids were coming to town....

Gorgeous weather, time with family, excessive laughter & cute babies make for awesome pictures & precious memories!

BIG Thanks to the awesome Gannons for having us over for a delicious meal, bobbing for apples & hosting a blast of an evening! We love you!

Enjoy a compilation from the weekend:

the 'popcorn bag' cake by Cakes by Julie (that's my Mom)

Concession Stand

Movie Candy

Quick Tug-O-War before the Movie...

going to miss our cousin, Allie...

brothers, Joel & Ry

Auntie C, Al & Erin

Josiah's 'mean' face

cousins, Jude & Selah

Bobbing for apples

the babies!

Auntie C got her apple!

a habit formed

2011-06-03T04:50:00.000-07:00

The other night after an exhausting night with crabby kids....I realized that perhaps all the stress of the evening stemmed from a really crabby Mommy.

I was tired. Busy. A few things just bothered me that, when I look back, were such minor things.

Joel was merely speaking to me and I was just throwing back attitude.

I was not a pleasant person to be around. 9pm approached. Kids fast asleep. The thought of going to bed seemed appealing but my mind would be restless with the countless items waiting on my to-do list.

I would normally just trudge through, drink a latte & deal.

This particular night, I did something that I hope to continue. I ran it out.

I got on my workout gear, stretched and hooked up the ipod.

I ran & ran & ran.

When I got home, it was as if every problem had gone away & I had a surge of energy to finish off the to-do's....

I think I've finally gotten to the place where exercise is a part of my life....and when it's missing for more than a few days...the entire world will know.

kindergarten

2011-05-31T10:59:00.000-07:00

It's been several months since I sent my boy off to Kindergarten with darth vader lunchbox in hand...and a little nervousness in my heart.

Would he be ready?
Would people be nice to him?
Would anyone sit with him at the lunch table?

It was a great year. A few 'bumps' along the way.

Last week was his open house where we got to see where all the magic takes place. His teacher, young & artistic, really surprised me with her innovative methods & use of everyday objects as learning tools.

We took a tour of the first grade class rooms. I watched Jude's little face as he saw how much bigger the desks were and how there was less play space and more learning space. I think I heard him gulp when he entered the room and shook hands with a few of the teachers. I just wanted to go through it for him...but I know i can't.

There will never be another year like Kindergarten....I just can't believe there are only 8 days left....

cucumber & pea plants in starbucks cups - I can respect that!

this guy almost got kicked out of kindergarten!

children's art

2011-05-29T08:12:00.000-07:00

We are doing lots of touching up to our home & aesthetic.

As a young couple, you start out getting what you can for less....as we get older, we see that the 'style' that creates is very hodge podge. We've started choosing with intention the type of home we'd like. It's a tad old world...yet warm & cozy.

The boys room(s) are fun but Jude's we have yet to touch. We plan to stick Leland in there once he's not such a caveman child. So I'm trying to find ways to give them distinct style while making the room seem like it goes together.

The art available at 20x200.com is so easy, affordable & inspiring. We might just have to make a decision on some pieces and then let them guide us towards new linens & window coverings as we go. I think the boys will have fun with it all.

Here are a few that caught my eye for Leland's side of the room:

For Jude, I want him to have his own style and thought since he's got such a bright personality - going with some bright paint near his section of the room....and some more muted prints - perhaps one that have an educational value - which he will totally appreciate!

outdoors

2011-05-27T07:20:00.000-07:00

after days and days of rain....I am thrilled that Joel and I will be sprucing up the outdoor spaces of our home & property with some touches of modern flair....a new fence to keep our little guy from traffic & from going home with every dog that walks by...

These pieces from the beautiful Modern Outdoor inspired me today....

Nothing like a night under soft lights & a warm fire with friends to remember what is really most important....hoping for another great summer of this. Just with better outdoor furniture. ;-)

Have a beautiful Memorial Day weekend, loves....

fashion

2011-05-26T09:26:00.000-07:00

that word has always taken its toll.

what looks good? what doesn't?

who can wear it?
who can't?

I have to say that regardless of the answers to those questions, I have definitely found a designer who pushes the envelope on whether those questions even need to be asked. Back in the BRAVO days of Project Runway, I used to have a group of gals come by for dessert...laughter...and to talk endlessly about how each designer 'should have done this or that' as if we had ANY clue about the matter.

One of my friends invited a new friend to come, she was worn out from school and even came with homework to do at my house. She could only stay for a bit. She was loud & funny & artistic. I liked her.

Little did any of us know, she herself would be on season 8 of Project Runway just 3 years later...

Valerie Mayen of Yellowcake was that quirky student & just a few weeks back, I got to do makeup for a shoot to show off her new spring line. I used to have words to distinctly describe her aesthetic but this new line took it to a whole new level. She is wild. She is discrete. She is futuristic. She is a little retro. Her designs are fun yet can be taken seriously.

Gosh, the girl even designs Oscar gowns now.

This shoot is tied for first place with another little video shoot I got to makeup for which was followed by a complimentary 'all you can eat' at our favorite restaurant.

Take a look at the beautiful model Suzy Rowe...the magician-like hairstylist Katie B....beautiful photography by Dan & April O'Keefe....makeup by moi....and see yourself in a little Yellowcake

8 years

2011-05-24T03:55:00.000-07:00

May 24th 2003

We were wed.

2 kids in their early 20's hoping to survive on love.

The excitement of being one after a long-distance relationship & engagement.

Recalling all we would encounter...it's a miracle to see how we've only grown closer.

The pain of family drama.

The pain of a brother's death.

The joy of a new son.

The joy of a new city & way of life.

Reconciliation.

Peace.

Forgiveness.

We stand certain that if we can get through year 1 thru 3, than 8-16 should be a relative breeze.

Confident in love but also in faithfulness & trust. The basis for which this relationship can thrive.

Our gifts & miracles: Jude & Leland (aka Jude & Lebe) - the art we're most proud of.

Let's keep up what we're doing & just do it better each day because each day is better because we still are one.

6

2011-05-22T12:48:00.000-07:00

My Jude is 6.
I feel like it can't be true.

We are so proud of this child and admire the person he is becoming day in and day out.
While he is still 6....and 6 has its ups and downs, we completely adore his passion, his kindness, and crazy ability to observe life & process.

Happy Birthday to my boy, my friend. Thank you for being such a great example to your brother, Leland....who wants to be just like you.
Hope you will always remember this special birthday....the beautiful weather...the bonfire, the homemade cake, and all the love you received.

Jude is 6! (almost)

2011-05-20T06:16:00.000-07:00

This was the phrase I decided to stamp onto his classmates' treat bags to take to school today.

It was wierd to see that number: 6
It wasn't toddlerish.
It wasn't teeny little playhouse disney-watching boy.
It is the age of my almost first grader.

Leland had a blast while I stamped. He was all up into the stamps & trying to put the ink pad on his face. He made the process take twice the time but with 100% more laughter and silly-ness.

I kind of enjoyed making these and realized since I have a summer birthday, I never got to send in treats for friends...Jude is thrilled with how they turned out & cannot wait to give out to his 17 classmates today.

Sweet little mini paper bags filled with individual play-doh containers, alphabet tie-dye silly bands, & toy story stickers.

vegan cobbler

2011-05-19T08:38:00.000-07:00

A few weeks back, I had some girlfriends over to join me in saying goodbye to a friend as she 'temporarily' moves out of state.

I made mostly non-vegan things but decided to try something new with my kabillion ramekins I got on impulse at World Market a few weeks back.

A simple pineapple & blueberry individual cobbler using a soy based butter to give it the crumbly top.

This was not only a crowd pleaser but a real craving-satisfier too! I plan to do an apple one in the fall with some delicious honeycrisp apples...

spray ramekins, layer crushed pineapple, blueberries & yellow cake mix...top with butter slices

Bake at 350 degrees for about 35 minutes...would be delicious with coconut non-dairy ice cream atop